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One of my friends keeps talking about leaving his wife. The two of them are great together when they're good. But they stink when they're bad. 我有一个朋友一直在说要离开他的妻子。这对夫妻好的时候如胶似漆，不好的时候相互嫌弃。 In a recent article on the five stages of relationships, I wrote about getting to stage five, where "being together is based on shared purpose rather than need." 在最近的一篇“爱情的五个阶段”的文章中，我写到走向感情的第五阶段应该是“两个人在一起是因为共同的目标而不是彼此需要。” My friend spends a lot of time in stage three, which is about loss of freedom. Over the years, small annoyances became big issues as hidden agendas came out. Now he feels resentful and is often in a power struggle with his wife. And he knows exactly what she "can't tolerate," so he has a well-stocked black bag of emotional missiles to throw at her. 而我的朋友很长时间都停留在第三阶段：失去自由。这些年来，随着不断出现的新问题，鸡毛蒜皮的小争吵演变成无可救药的大问题。现在，他常常感到恼怒，并且经常与妻子陷入激烈的争吵。而且他清楚知道什么是她“无法忍受”的，所以他心里积压着一大筐愤怒的情绪炮弹随时可能投向妻子。 He could instead perceive his wife as a mirror, giving him a reflection of himself. What would that mean? Every time he sees her best -- she's kind, smart, creative, funny, a good mother and a devoted wife -- he could acknowledge that these great qualities are active in him and that's how he drew the best out of her. | 
