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They mean the exact opposite of what you think. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. The words hit me like a hurricane: "I know how you feel." You want to help. Yet, rather than creating a connection, "I know how you feel" and other phrases like it build a wall between you and the other person. 这些话的意思与你的原意恰恰相反，但只有情绪敏感的人才知个中缘由。这种话最伤人："我懂你的感受。"你的确想帮忙。但是，类似的这种话非但不会拉近你们的距离，反而会在你和他人之间建立一堵墙。 The phrase suggests that you don't truly understand what the other person feels at all. (Really, how could you?) It suggests that you feel the need to turn the conversation toward your experience, not his or hers, and that ultimately you don't really care about that person's concerns after all. In other words, this phrase sends a message that's 100 percent the opposite of what you intend. So don't say, "I know how you feel." Here's what to do instead. 这句话表明你并未完全理解对方的感受。（真的，你怎么会理解？）这表明，你觉得有必要谈谈自己的经历，而非他或她的，其实最终你根本就不关心对方的感受。换言之，这些话所表达的信息与你的本意完全相反。所以千万别说"我懂你。"你应该做这些事。 | 
