What is the biggest cultural barrier for a Chinese to overcome when dealing with people from other countries? For me personally, it is none other than looking into the eye of the other party. I knew early on while I was still in school that Western people value eye contact. But it is one thing to know something; it is another to be able to practice it. It took me a good three years living in the United States to completely get over my "handicap". For a while, I invented a fence-sitting strategy whereby I would almost look at the person I was conversing with, but with a slight angle so that our eyes wouldn't be locked together at all times. I would appear to be looking without really looking. Now you may ask: What's the big fuss about looking someone in the eye while talking to him? Isn't it the most natural thing to do? Well, let me tell you: No, not for someone brought up and taught NOT to look that way. Actually, I've never encountered a specific instruction in our textbooks that we should not look directly at someone else while talking. And in school, we also look at the teacher. But when it's a one-on-one conversation, it is simply impolite to gaze, especially at someone of a senior generation or ranking. This little habit of ours has probably created more misunderstanding than most cultural quirks. In Western culture, it is impolite to look at something other than the eyes of the one you talk to. Besides, you may be interpreted as lacking self-confidence or even lying. |