Chances are, you've had to apologize plenty of times in your life. And there's a good chance you've also uttered the phrase, "I never meant to hurt you." 生活中你可能要道歉很多次,而且很有可能说过这句话:“我从没想过要伤害你”。 Stop doing that, says author Caroline Myss. 作者卡罗兰·梅斯说:“别再说那句话了。” In a talk Myss ― a spiritual seeker, researcher ― took on the topic of forgiveness and healing, and explained in no uncertain terms why "I never meant to hurt you" is never a sufficient apology, no matter who it comes from. 梅斯是一位精神导师和研究员,她在一次访谈中讲了原谅和疗伤的话题,并且非常明确地解释了为什么“我从没想过要伤害你”这句话永远不适合用来道歉,无论是从谁的嘴里说出来。 "Picture that person coming up to you and saying, 'Wow, bummer. I'm sorry I did this, but, you know, I never meant to hurt you. And, hey, can we just call it a day?'" Myss says. 梅斯说:“想象一下,那个人朝你走过来跟你说‘哦,哥们,很抱歉我那样做,但你知道的,我从没想过要伤害你。就这样吧好吗?’” As tempting as it can be to move on and bury the hatchet, that type of apology won’t sit well with the person on the receiving end. "That whole little thing ― 'I never meant to hurt you' ― that's the thing you can't forgive," she says. "It goes right to your soul, that toxic, sick feeling." |