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一、句子之间缺少过渡性的单词或词组 ① Salmons swim upstream， they leap over huge dams to reach their destination. ② Salmons swim upstream， and then they leap over huge dams to reach their destination. 二、省字号()的滥用 ① the governments plan ② the plan of the government 三、代词之间的性、数、格不一致 ① Everyone has their homework. ② Everyone has his (or her) homework. 四、主句与从句的顺序不当 ① Some of the new dot-com millionaires found out the party was over， after the NASDAQ value dropped by over two thirds. ② After the NASDAQ value dropped by over two thirds， some of the new dot-com millionaires found out the party was over. 五、双重否定 ① Barely no one noticed that the pop star lip-synched during the whole performance. ② Barely anyone noticed that the pop star lip-synched during the whole performance. 六、修饰语、插入语的位置不当 ① The forest fire， no longer held in check by the exhausted firefighters， jumped the firebreak. ② No longer held in check by the exhausted firefighters， the forest fire jumped the firebreak. | 
