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Making Friends in Family WHEN Joan gave birth to the first boy in her family in three generations, she and her husband were ecstatic. So were her parents. Joan expected her older sister, Sally, to be just as delighted. Joan had always worshiped Sally the beauty and the star of the family and rejoiced in her achievements. But since the babys arrival, the sisters have become distant. Joan feels hurt that Sally seems completely uninterested in little Andrew. Sally, who had no children, claims that her younger sister acts as if no one ever had a baby before . Neither Sally nor Joan understands that the sudden reversal in their family roles is the real cause of the current chill. Joan has finally outdone her dominant older sister and Sally doesnt like it! Their distance may be temporary, but it shows that childhood rivalry isnt always outgrown. It can remain a strong ingredient in sibling relationships throughout life. In a study at the University of Cincinnati, 65 men and women between ages 25 and 93 were asked how they felt about their brothers and sisters. Nearly 75 percent admitted harboring rivalrous feelings. In a few cases, these emotions were sufficiently intense to have affected their entire lives. Many adult brothers and sisters are close, supportive and affectionate yet still need to compete. Two brothers I know turn into killers when on opposite sides of a tennis net. Off the court, they are the best of friends. My own younger sister never fails to tell me when Ive put on weight.. However, shes a terrible cook and that pleases me; I outdo myself when she comes to dinner. Happily, despite these small failings, we have been an important resource for one another. | 
