|
For a long time, researchers have tried to nail down just what shapes us--or what, at least, shapes us most. And over the years, theyve had a lot of exclamation moments. First it was our parents, particularly our mothers. Then it was our genes. Next it was our peers, who show up last but hold great sway. And all those ideas were good ones--but only as far as they went. Somewhere, there was a sort of temperamental dark matter exerting an invisible gravitational pull of its own. More and more, scientists are concluding that this unexplained force is our siblings. From the time we are born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people well ever know who truly qualify as partners for life. Siblings, says family sociologist Katherine Conger, are with us for the whole journey. Within the scientific community, siblings have not been wholly ignored, but research has been limited mostly to discussions of birth order.Older sibs were said to be strivers;younger ones rebels;middle kids the lost souls.The stereotypes were broad，if not entirely untrue，and there the discussion mostly ended. | 
