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[GRE写作] GRE写作argument全部官方范文分析(12)

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  我的习作

  选取了普遍认为比较难的红肉这题,嘿嘿,主要目的是为了用上前面分析的结论,所以我写的时候尽量避免任何模版的痕迹。

  TOPIC: ARGUMENT142 - The article entitled Eating Iron in last months issue of Eating for Health reported that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. Further, it is well established that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. On the basis of the study and the well-established link between red meat and heart disease, we can conclude that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, then, is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease.

  字数:600字左右

  The link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease appears to be rational, for it is well established as mentioned in the argument. However, the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, cited from a recent study, may mask other factors which also likely to cause the correlation between red meat and heart disease, and, if true, may mislead the direction of the research..

  The information of the study provided, such as the respondents situation and their natural heritage, is insufficient to justify the correlation, considering that is a root of the argument. As for the respondents, could they represent the entire group of people? Old people, with the increased risk of many kinds of common disease-owing to the worsen condition of health, could possibly increase the risk of heart disease as well. Knowing that in some cases heart disease derives from genetic heritage; it is obvious for such kind of people suffers from heart disease, on account of gene, rather than high levels of iron. Without any specific situation of the respondents, the argument could not convince us that it includes all kinds of people, range from young to old, and free of genetic heritage. In addition, during the process of the study, it is not clear that what the diet, with high levels of iron acquire by respondents, is. Does the diet contains the iron within a particular compound, which would make it difficult to be absorbed, or just the element of iron, which could easily get in? .

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