一张房地产传单中这么写: We have qualified Hong Kong PR and local buyers who want to purchase a flat in this area, if you have the intention to sell your flat, please contact us immediately. 认识英语的人,都懂得这话的意思。可惜的是,这话的英语用得不好, 共有六处不符合标准。 现在一一指出如下: ⒈We have qualified Hong Kong PR and local buyers:这里的Hong Kong PR可以译为香港的永久居民,但文中要的应该是来自香港的永久居民(Singapore Permanent Residents from Hong Kong)。此外,PR要改为复数(PRs)才对。在 local buyers里local(本地的)较短,根据修饰语的排列秩序,应该先排。此外,buyers后面有个形容词分句提到买组屋的事,buyers便成为多余的元素了。最后,修饰语qualified 虽然用法对,但选词不妥当。Qualified表示有知识或有资格,但这里要的是合条件的或适当的修饰语,那就是 eligible或suitable了。 ⒉who want to purchase a flat in this area里的 a flat不能说错,但根据上下文,应该用复数的flats较合理。 ⒊在if you have the intention to sell your flat 之前的句子已告一段落,应该加上句号;不然又和这个条件副词分句连起来了, 叫run-on sentences,在句法上, 是错误的。此外,have the intention to sell这个名词句型正确的构造是: have the intention of selling,反义句是:have no intention of selling。 |