The acronym DINK -- double income, no kids -- originated in the US in the 1960s. Fearing that children might constrain their freedom, married working women began to avoid pregnancy; the result was many busy, prosperous young DINK couples. This choice was not irrational. After all, nowadays retired people can live on their pensions and savings, so they are no longer compelled to depend on their offspring in old age. And a child is undeniably an expensive proposition: so much time and money are required. Why bother having one? It is hard to condemn those who opt out of parenthood. And in China their decisions are perfectly in keeping with the drive to limit population growth. Yet few couples with children would agree that they were stupid to become parents. Most are very happy that they have had the experience of witnessing a child grow to maturity. A baby enters the world with a mind like blank paper, and gradually he or she acquires the ability to think, to talk and finally to communicate easily. Isn’t there something magical about it? When you see the process happening before your very eyes, you feel a happiness like no other. A Chinese DINK said to me recently, "If you didn’t have three children, you could go to a bar or the cinema with your wife on weekends -- how unrestrained and romantic that would be!" But I would say that no matter how wonderful Hollywood films or Broadway performances are, watching them is far less interesting than seeing my extrovert of a daughter sing and dance. If it’s true that there are rewards to be gotten from having children, then surely the happiness of seeing them grow up is the greatest. Another Chinese friend of mine complained: " I provided the funds for my child to go to college and then off to America for a master’s degree, but so far I haven’t gotten any rewards out of playing parent." To him I would say that the rewards were there all along -- for any parent open to the wonder of seeing a child begin to speak, or surprise us with a new word used for the first time. |