问题:帮忙看下这篇雅思作文大概得多少分?Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?Asacommonargument,ifuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmalean
答案:↓↓↓ 李兆杰的回答: 网友采纳 有些用法不地道比如thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectaretooemphasistherightsofgirls.-->应该改成thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldenrollequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectover-emphasizetherightsofgirlsemphasis是名词emphasize才是动词 再比如要是我写最后一段就会写成: Accordingtoreasonsgivenabove,Iholdtheperspectivethatuniversitiesshouldacceptdifferentnumberofmaleandfemaleinvarioussubjects,forthereasonthat(=because,还可以用afterall)frombothphysicalandmentalaspects,maleandfemaleplaydifferentroles.注意体会修改之后的细微差别,就是你应该注意的地方比如because引导的句子一定不能缺少主句,而你的就是缺少主句了... 通篇语法上也还有点问题,多做同义词替换,再努力一下能得六分 雅思作文不考思想深度个人意见仅供参考加油~ |