48小时，让你们的感情走出阴霾
<p><span word="One">One</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="friends">friends</span> <span word="keeps">keeps</span> <span word="talking">talking</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="leaving">leaving</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="wife">wife</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="two">two</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="great">great</span> <span word="together">together</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="they">they</span>'<span word="re">re</span> <span word="good">good</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="stink">stink</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="they">they</span>'<span word="re">re</span> <span word="bad">bad</span>.</p><p>我有一个朋友一直在说要离开他的妻子。这对夫妻好的时候如胶似漆，不好的时候相互嫌弃。</p><p><span word="In">In</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="recent">recent</span> <span word="article">article</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="five">five</span> <span word="stages">stages</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="relationships">relationships</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="wrote">wrote</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="getting">getting</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="stage">stage</span> <span word="five">five</span>, <span word="where">where</span> "<span word="being">being</span> <span word="together">together</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="based">based</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="shared">shared</span> <span word="purpose">purpose</span> <span word="rather">rather</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="need">need</span>."</p><p>在最近的一篇“爱情的五个阶段”的文章中，我写到走向感情的第五阶段应该是“两个人在一起是因为共同的目标而不是彼此需要。”</p><p><span word="My">My</span> <span word="friend">friend</span> <span word="spends">spends</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lot">lot</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="time">time</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="stage">stage</span> <span word="three">three</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="loss">loss</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="freedom">freedom</span>. <span word="Over">Over</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="years">years</span>, <span word="small">small</span> <span word="annoyances">annoyances</span> <span word="became">became</span> <span word="big">big</span> <span word="issues">issues</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="hidden">hidden</span> <span word="agendas">agendas</span> <span word="came">came</span> <span word="out">out</span>. <span word="Now">Now</span> <span word="he">he</span> <span word="feels">feels</span> <span word="resentful">resentful</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="often">often</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="power">power</span> <span word="struggle">struggle</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="wife">wife</span>. <span word="And">And</span> <span word="he">he</span> <span word="knows">knows</span> <span word="exactly">exactly</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="she">she</span> "<span word="can">can</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="tolerate">tolerate</span>," <span word="so">so</span> <span word="he">he</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="well">well</span>-<span word="stocked">stocked</span> <span word="black">black</span> <span word="bag">bag</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="emotional">emotional</span> <span word="missiles">missiles</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="throw">throw</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="her">her</span>.</p><p>而我的朋友很长时间都停留在第三阶段：失去自由。这些年来，随着不断出现的新问题，鸡毛蒜皮的小争吵演变成无可救药的大问题。现在，他常常感到恼怒，并且经常与妻子陷入激烈的争吵。而且他清楚知道什么是她“无法忍受”的，所以他心里积压着一大筐愤怒的情绪炮弹随时可能投向妻子。</p><p><span word="He">He</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="instead">instead</span> <span word="perceive">perceive</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="wife">wife</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="mirror">mirror</span>, <span word="giving">giving</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="reflection">reflection</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="himself">himself</span>. <span word="What">What</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="mean">mean</span>? <span word="Every">Every</span> <span word="time">time</span> <span word="he">he</span> <span word="sees">sees</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="best">best</span> -- <span word="she">she</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="kind">kind</span>, <span word="smart">smart</span>, <span word="creative">creative</span>, <span word="funny">funny</span>, <span word="a">a</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="mother">mother</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="devoted">devoted</span> <span word="wife">wife</span> -- <span word="he">he</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="acknowledge">acknowledge</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="these">these</span> <span word="great">great</span> <span word="qualities">qualities</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="active">active</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="that">that</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="he">he</span> <span word="drew">drew</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="best">best</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="her">her</span>.</p>
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