待到非吵不可时,孩子面前怎样吵架
<p><span word="It">It</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="quandary">quandary</span> <span word="every">every</span> <span word="couple">couple</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="children">children</span> <span word="eventually">eventually</span> <span word="faces">faces</span>: <span word="Should">Should</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="fight">fight</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="front">front</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="kids">kids</span>?</p><p>对有孩子的夫妻终将面临这样的问题：我们该不该在孩子面前吵架？</p><p><span word="The">The</span> <span word="answer">answer</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="complicated">complicated</span>. <span word="Child">Child</span> <span word="psychologists">psychologists</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="study">study</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="issue">issue</span> <span word="tend">tend</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="say">say</span> <span word="yes">yes</span> -- <span word="if">if</span> <span word="parents">parents</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="manage">manage</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="argue">argue</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="healthy">healthy</span> <span word="way">way</span>. <span word="That">That</span> <span word="means">means</span> <span word="disagreeing">disagreeing</span> <span word="respectfully">respectfully</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="avoiding">avoiding</span> <span word="name">name</span>-<span word="calling">calling</span>, <span word="insults">insults</span>, <span word="dredging">dredging</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="past">past</span> <span word="infractions">infractions</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="storming">storming</span> <span word="off">off</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="anger">anger</span>, <span word="for">for</span> <span word="starters">starters</span>.</p><p>答案不是那么简单。研究这个问题的儿童心理学家往往会回答“该”──如果父母能够做到合理争吵的话。合理争吵，首先是求同存异，并避免扣帽子、侮辱对方、提旧事或发飙。</p><p>'<span word="Kids">Kids</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="going">going</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="disagreements">disagreements</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="friends">friends</span>, <span word="their">their</span> <span word="peers">peers</span>, <span word="co">co</span>-<span word="workers">workers</span>, ' <span word="says">says</span> <span word="Patrick">Patrick</span> <span word="Davies">Davies</span>, <span word="a">a</span> <span word="professor">professor</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="psychology">psychology</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="University">University</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="Rochester">Rochester</span>. '<span word="If">If</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="witness">witness</span> <span word="disagreements">disagreements</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="handled">handled</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="constructive">constructive</span> <span word="ways">ways</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="well">well</span>-<span word="equipped">equipped</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="go">go</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="world">world</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="address">address</span> <span word="inevitable">inevitable</span> <span word="conflict">conflict</span>.'</p><p>罗切斯特大学(<span word="University">University</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="Rochester">Rochester</span>)心理学教授帕特里克·戴维斯(<span word="Patrick">Patrick</span> <span word="Davies">Davies</span>)说：“孩子们将会跟他们的朋友、同伴、同事产生分歧，如果他们没有见过分歧以及分歧的建设性处理方式，那么他们就不能做好足够的准备去闯荡世界，去处理不可避免的冲突。”</p>
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