情商低的人会说这些话
<p><span word="They">They</span> <span word="mean">mean</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="exact">exact</span> <span word="opposite">opposite</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="think">think</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="emotionally">emotionally</span> <span word="intelligent">intelligent</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="understand">understand</span> <span word="why">why</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="words">words</span> <span word="hit">hit</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="hurricane">hurricane</span>: "<span word="I">I</span> <span word="know">know</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="feel">feel</span>." <span word="You">You</span> <span word="want">want</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="help">help</span>. <span word="Yet">Yet</span>, <span word="rather">rather</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="creating">creating</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="connection">connection</span>, "<span word="I">I</span> <span word="know">know</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="feel">feel</span>" <span word="and">and</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="phrases">phrases</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="build">build</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="wall">wall</span> <span word="between">between</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="person">person</span>.</p><p>这些话的意思与你的原意恰恰相反，但只有情绪敏感的人才知个中缘由。这种话最伤人："我懂你的感受。"你的确想帮忙。但是，类似的这种话非但不会拉近你们的距离，反而会在你和他人之间建立一堵墙。</p><p><span word="The">The</span> <span word="phrase">phrase</span> <span word="suggests">suggests</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="truly">truly</span> <span word="understand">understand</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="person">person</span> <span word="feels">feels</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="all">all</span>. (<span word="Really">Really</span>, <span word="how">how</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="you">you</span>?) <span word="It">It</span> <span word="suggests">suggests</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="feel">feel</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="need">need</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="turn">turn</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="conversation">conversation</span> <span word="toward">toward</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="experience">experience</span>, <span word="not">not</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="hers">hers</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="ultimately">ultimately</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="really">really</span> <span word="care">care</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="person">person</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="concerns">concerns</span> <span word="after">after</span> <span word="all">all</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="words">words</span>, <span word="this">this</span> <span word="phrase">phrase</span> <span word="sends">sends</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="message">message</span> <span word="that">that</span>'<span word="s">s</span> 100 <span word="percent">percent</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="opposite">opposite</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="intend">intend</span>. <span word="So">So</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="say">say</span>, "<span word="I">I</span> <span word="know">know</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="feel">feel</span>." <span word="Here">Here</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="instead">instead</span>.</p><p>这句话表明你并未完全理解对方的感受。（真的，你怎么会理解？）这表明，你觉得有必要谈谈自己的经历，而非他或她的，其实最终你根本就不关心对方的感受。换言之，这些话所表达的信息与你的本意完全相反。所以千万别说"我懂你。"你应该做这些事。</p>
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