考研英语作文批改范例14
<p> <span word="Dear">Dear</span> <span word="Administrator">Administrator</span>,<span word="I">I</span> <span word="am">am</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="sympathetic">sympathetic</span> <span word="about">about</span> （改为<span word="to">to</span>）<span word="the">the</span> <span word="children">children</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="families">families</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="want">want</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="them">them</span>（使用代词有点重复，建议改为<span word="do">do</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="help">help</span>）. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="child">child</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="talent">talent</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="music">music</span>, <span word="sport">sport</span>,<span word="and">and</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="on">on</span>, <span word="so">so</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="intend">intend</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="child">child</span>.（句子表达不顺畅，建议改为，<span word="I">I</span> <span word="wonder">wonder</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="find">find</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="child">child</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="talent">talent</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="music">music</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="sport">sport</span>.） <span word="I">I</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="offer">offer</span> <span word="financial">financial</span> <span word="aid">aid</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="child">child</span>, <span word="giving">giving</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="chance">chance</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="fulfill">fulfill</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="dream">dream</span>.<span word="Children">Children</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="flowers">flowers</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="get">get</span> <span word="development">development</span> <span word="very">very</span> <span word="well">well</span>, <span word="no">no</span> <span word="matter">matter</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="family">family</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="not">not</span>（句子表达建议改为<span word="have">have</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="equal">equal</span> <span word="right">right</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="grow">grow</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="matter">matter</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="born">born</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="rich">rich</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="poor">poor</span> <span word="family">family</span>）. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="best">best</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="them">them</span>. <span word="So">So</span>, <span word="please">please</span> <span word="elect">elect</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="candidate">candidate</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="does">does</span> <span word="well">well</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="sport">sport</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="me">me</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="give">give</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="best">best</span> <span word="education">education</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="could">could</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="give">give</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="family">family</span>. <span word="He">He</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="attain">attain</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="familys">familys</span> <span word="warm">warm</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="also">also</span> <span word="wish">wish</span> <span word="everybody">everybody</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="pay">pay</span> <span word="attention">attention</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="orphan">orphan</span>, <span word="because">because</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="countrys">countrys</span> <span word="future">future</span>. <span word="Sincerely">Sincerely</span> <span word="yours">yours</span>, <span word="Li">Li</span> <span word="Ming">Ming</span></p><p> </p>
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