六人英语搞笑小品剧本：孔雀东南飞
<p>六人英语搞笑剧本 孔雀东南飞,</p><p>英语小品剧本--《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）</p><p><span word="Wanders">Wanders</span> <span word="every">every</span> <span word="five">five</span> <span word="miles">miles</span></p><p>焦仲卿<span word="Johnny">Johnny</span>(<span word="Jforshort">Jforshort</span>) 刘兰芝<span word="Lunch">Lunch</span>(<span word="Lforshort">Lforshort</span>)</p><p>焦母<span word="Johnny">Johnny</span>`<span word="smother">smother</span>(<span word="JMforshort">JMforshort</span>) 刘母<span word="Lunch">Lunch</span>’<span word="smother">smother</span>(<span word="LMforshort">LMforshort</span>)</p><p>太守之子<span word="Mayor">Mayor</span>’<span word="sson">sson</span>(<span word="MSforshort">MSforshort</span>) 强盗<span word="Burglars">Burglars</span>(<span word="ABandC">ABandC</span>)</p><p><span word="Prologue">Prologue</span></p><p>(<span word="J">J</span>作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,<span word="J">J</span>被打中,狼狈不堪)</p><p><span word="J">J</span>:<span word="Everybody">Everybody</span> <span word="says">says</span> <span word="thatI">thatI</span>’<span word="m">m</span> <span word="hen">hen</span> <span word="pecked">pecked</span>,<span word="but">but</span> <span word="infact">infact</span>,<span word="I">I</span>’<span word="m">m</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="strong">strong</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="tiger">tiger</span>,(小声)<span word="while">while</span> <span word="my">my</span></p><p><span word="wife">wife</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="WuSong">WuSong</span>.</p><p>(指着上台处的门大声道)<span word="I">I</span>’<span word="m">m</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="afraid">afraid</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="you">you</span>!</p><p>(内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)<span word="Then">Then</span>,<span word="I">I</span>’<span word="m">m</span> <span word="afraid">afraid</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="whom">whom</span>?</p><p><span word="My">My</span> <span word="wife">wife</span> <span word="Lunch">Lunch</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="famous">famous</span> <span word="woman">woman</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="neighbor">neighbor</span>-<span word="hood">hood</span>.<span word="She">She</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="braver">braver</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="me">me</span>,</p><p><span word="smarter">smarter</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="stronger">stronger</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="me">me</span>.<span word="All">All</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="donotcare">donotcare</span>.<span word="I">I</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="want">want</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="tender">tender</span></p><p><span word="than">than</span> <span word="me">me</span>.<span word="But">But</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="not">not</span>!<span word="Having">Having</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="wife">wife</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="just">just</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="living">living</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="hell">hell</span>!</p><p>(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中<span word="J">J</span>)</p><p><span word="My">My</span> <span word="God">God</span>!<span word="Who">Who</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="me">me</span>?(下)</p><p><span word="Act">Act</span>1</p><p>(序幕结束时,<span word="JM">JM</span>作窃听状)</p><p><span word="JM">JM</span>(拄拐棍上):<span word="Ican">Ican</span>!</p><p>(对门内)<span word="Lunch">Lunch</span>!<span word="Lunch">Lunch</span>!<span word="Where">Where</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="you">you</span>?</p><p><span word="L">L</span>(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):<span word="I">I</span>’<span word="m">m</span> <span word="here">here</span>!<span word="What">What</span>’<span word="sup">sup</span> <span word="mum">mum</span>?</p><p><span word="JM">JM</span>:<span word="I">I</span>’<span word="ve">ve</span> <span word="told">told</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="again">again</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="again">again</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="call">call</span> <span word="me">me</span>“<span word="my">my</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="beautiful">beautiful</span> <span word="graceful">graceful</span> <span word="and">and</span></p><p><span word="dearest">dearest</span> <span word="mother">mother</span>-<span word="in">in</span>-<span word="law">law</span>”.</p><p><span word="L">L</span>:<span word="OK">OK</span>.<span word="My">My</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="beautiful">beautiful</span> <span word="graceful">graceful</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="dearest">dearest</span> <span word="mother">mother</span>-<span word="in">in</span>-<span word="law">law</span>,<span word="what">what</span>’<span word="sup">sup</span>?</p><p><span word="JM">JM</span>:<span word="Since">Since</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="married">married</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="son">son</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="behaved">behaved</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="badly">badly</span>.<span word="You">You</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="sorude">sorude</span>,<span word="sobrusque">sobrusque</span>,<span word="so">so</span></p>
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