心理学家才知道的一些秘密
<p><span word="What">What</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="things">things</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="psychologists">psychologists</span> <span word="know">know</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span>?</p><p>有哪些事心理学家知道但大多数人不知道？</p><p>获得371.8<span word="k">k</span>好评的回答@<span word="Kevin">Kevin</span> <span word="Luo">Luo</span>：</p><p><span word="On">On</span> <span word="those">those</span> <span word="rare">rare</span> <span word="days">days</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="you">you</span>’<span word="re">re</span> <span word="running">running</span> <span word="late">late</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="something">something</span> <span word="due">due</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="legitimate">legitimate</span> <span word="reason">reason</span>, <span word="it">it</span>’<span word="s">s</span> <span word="better">better</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="genuinely">genuinely</span> <span word="praise">praise</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="person">person</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="patience">patience</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="apologize">apologize</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="tardiness">tardiness</span>.</p><p>你偶尔由于正当理由迟到时，最好真诚地称赞对方的耐心，而不是为自己的迟到道歉。</p><p><span word="The">The</span> <span word="problem">problem</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="apologizing">apologizing</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="that">that</span>, <span word="by">by</span> <span word="attributing">attributing</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="negative">negative</span> <span word="feelings">feelings</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="associations">associations</span> <span word="of">of</span> “<span word="sorriness">sorriness</span>” <span word="to">to</span> <span word="yourself">yourself</span>, <span word="you">you</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="now">now</span> <span word="shifted">shifted</span> <span word="all">all</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="negative">negative</span> <span word="spotlight">spotlight</span> <span word="onto">onto</span> <span word="you">you</span>. <span word="Your">Your</span> <span word="boss">boss</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="likely">likely</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="psychologically">psychologically</span> <span word="programmed">programmed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="think">think</span> “<span word="Yeah">Yeah</span>, <span word="you">you</span> <span word="better">better</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="sorry">sorry</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="being">being</span> <span word="late">late</span>! <span word="You">You</span> <span word="made">made</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="wait">wait</span> 5 <span word="minutes">minutes</span> - <span word="who">who</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="are">are</span>? <span word="You">You</span>’<span word="re">re</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="terrible">terrible</span> <span word="employee">employee</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="doesn">doesn</span>’<span word="t">t</span> <span word="respect">respect</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="time">time</span>.”</p><p>道歉的问题在于会把消极的感觉和“抱歉”的联想都揽到自己身上，使所有消极的矛头都指向自己。老板的心理活动更有可能是“对，你最好为迟到感到抱歉，你让我等了5分钟，你以为自己是谁呀？你这个员工真差劲，不尊重我的时间。”</p><p><span word="The">The</span> <span word="benefit">benefit</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="praising">praising</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="that">that</span>, <span word="by">by</span> <span word="showering">showering</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="boss">boss</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="positive">positive</span> <span word="praise">praise</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="patience">patience</span>, <span word="your">your</span> <span word="boss">boss</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="inclined">inclined</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="positively">positively</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="herself">herself</span>, <span word="rather">rather</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="negatively">negatively</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="you">you</span>. <span word="He">He</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="themself">themself</span> “<span word="Yeah">Yeah</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="am">am</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="patient">patient</span> <span word="person">person</span>, <span word="aren">aren</span>’<span word="t">t</span> <span word="I">I</span>? <span word="In">In</span> <span word="fact">fact</span>, <span word="it">it</span>’<span word="s">s</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="proudest">proudest</span> <span word="traits">traits</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="boss">boss</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="understanding">understanding</span> <span word="person">person</span> - <span word="after">after</span> <span word="all">all</span>, <span word="it">it</span>’<span word="s">s</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="show">show</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="employees">employees</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="I">I</span>’<span word="m">m</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="patient">patient</span> <span word="individual">individual</span>.”</p>
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