这些小迹象表明你的另一半有情感施虐倾向
<p><span word="THEY">THEY</span> <span word="ATTACK">ATTACK</span> <span word="YOUR">YOUR</span> <span word="CHARACTER">CHARACTER</span> <span word="VS">VS</span>. <span word="COMPLAINING">COMPLAINING</span> <span word="ABOUT">ABOUT</span> <span word="SPECIFIC">SPECIFIC</span> <span word="THINGS">THINGS</span>.</p><p>他们攻击你的性格<span word="VS">VS</span>抱怨具体的事情。</p><p><span word="Most">Most</span> <span word="couples">couples</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="disagreements">disagreements</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="person">person</span> <span word="yells">yells</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="doing">doing</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="dishes">dishes</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="forgetting">forgetting</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="take">take</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="trash">trash</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="spouses">spouses</span> <span word="criticize">criticize</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="partners">partners</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="broadly">broadly</span>. "<span word="Saying">Saying</span> '<span word="it">it</span> <span word="bothers">bothers</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="forget">forget</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="take">take</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="trash">trash</span>' <span word="is">is</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="complaint">complaint</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="something">something</span> <span word="specific">specific</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="partner">partner</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="immediately">immediately</span> <span word="address">address</span>," <span word="explains">explains</span> <span word="Weena">Weena</span> <span word="Cullins">Cullins</span>, <span word="a">a</span> <span word="marriage">marriage</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="family">family</span> <span word="therapist">therapist</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="saying">saying</span> "'<span word="you">you</span>'<span word="re">re</span> <span word="just">just</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="lazy">lazy</span>. <span word="What">What</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="wrong">wrong</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="you">you</span>?' <span word="is">is</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="criticism">criticism</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="attacks">attacks</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="person">person</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="character">character</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="may">may</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="too">too</span> <span word="vague">vague</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="easily">easily</span> <span word="address">address</span>." <span word="And">And</span> <span word="those">those</span> <span word="kind">kind</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="generalized">generalized</span> <span word="digs">digs</span> - <span word="either">either</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="public">public</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="privacy">privacy</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="your">your</span> - <span word="can">can</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="considered">considered</span> <span word="emotionally">emotionally</span> <span word="abusive">abusive</span> <span word="because">because</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="chip">chip</span> <span word="away">away</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="person">person</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="self">self</span>-<span word="esteem">esteem</span>. <span word="Getting">Getting</span> <span word="consistent">consistent</span> <span word="negative">negative</span> <span word="messages">messages</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="that">that</span>, <span word="especially">especially</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="someone">someone</span> <span word="who">who</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="supposed">supposed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="love">love</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="respect">respect</span> <span word="you">you</span>, <span word="can">can</span> <span word="reduce">reduce</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="confidence">confidence</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="lower">lower</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="sense">sense</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="worth">worth</span> - <span word="and">and</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="less">less</span> <span word="likely">likely</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="leave">leave</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="toxic">toxic</span> <span word="situation">situation</span>.</p><p>大多数情侣意见不合时，一方会冲另一方大叫，说他们没有洗碗或忘记带垃圾出门，但有些情侣则是泛泛地批评另一半。"说'你老是忘带垃圾出门，我真的很苦恼'是针对具体事情的抱怨，另一半能很快解决，"婚姻和家庭治疗师维娜·卡琳斯解释道。但说"'你真是太懒了，你到底有什么毛病啊？'则攻击了他们的性格，而且也太过广泛、不容易解决。"而这些泛泛地嘲讽--无论是公共的还是隐私的--都可以被当做情感施虐，因为这些嘲讽会消磨掉一个人的自尊心。总是收到那样的负面信息会打击你的自信、降低你的价值感，甚至让你不太容易离开负面消极的环境--尤其是本该爱你、尊敬你的人说出这些信息时。</p>
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