如何当好倾听者 Lessons in listening
<p><span word="A">A</span> <span word="woman">woman</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="know">know</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="does">does</span> <span word="online">online</span> <span word="dating">dating</span> <span word="says">says</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="often">often</span> <span word="baffled">baffled</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="seduction">seduction</span> <span word="techniques">techniques</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="men">men</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="meets">meets</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="person">person</span>, <span word="most">most</span> <span word="just">just</span> <span word="boast">boast</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="great">great</span> <span word="length">length</span>. <span word="Few">Few</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="stumble">stumble</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="winning">winning</span> <span word="formula">formula</span>: <span word="ask">ask</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="herself">herself</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="actually">actually</span> <span word="listen">listen</span>.</p><p>我认识的一位女性在网络上征婚，她说她遇到的男人们的把妹技巧经常让她困惑不已。他们大多数人只是长篇大论地自吹自擂。很少有人能够找到制胜之道：即让她说说自己的事情，并且认真倾听。</p><p><span word="Listening">Listening</span> <span word="may">may</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="key">key</span> <span word="social">social</span> <span word="skill">skill</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="humans">humans</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="probably">probably</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="bad">bad</span> <span word="listeners">listeners</span> <span word="since">since</span> <span word="Adam">Adam</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="Eve">Eve</span> <span word="ignored">ignored</span> <span word="God">God</span>’<span word="s">s</span> <span word="edict">edict</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="ate">ate</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="forbidden">forbidden</span> <span word="fruit">fruit</span>. <span word="Now">Now</span> <span word="many">many</span> <span word="experts">experts</span> <span word="believe">believe</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="digital">digital</span> <span word="era">era</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="endless">endless</span> <span word="stimuli">stimuli</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="made">made</span> <span word="things">things</span> <span word="worse">worse</span>. “<span word="The">The</span> <span word="average">average</span> <span word="human">human</span> <span word="attention">attention</span> <span word="span">span</span> <span word="in">in</span> 2000 <span word="was">was</span> 12 <span word="seconds">seconds</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="by">by</span> 2013 <span word="it">it</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="only">only</span> 8 <span word="seconds">seconds</span> (<span word="one">one</span> <span word="second">second</span> <span word="shorter">shorter</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="goldfish">goldfish</span>!)” <span word="concluded">concluded</span> <span word="Microsoft">Microsoft</span> <span word="Canada">Canada</span>, <span word="after">after</span> <span word="doing">doing</span> <span word="research">research</span> <span word="on">on</span> 2,000 <span word="Canadians">Canadians</span>.</p><p>倾听或许是至关重要的社交技能。然而，自打亚当和夏娃无视上帝的命令偷尝禁果以来，人类很可能一直都是糟糕的倾听者。如今很多专家认为，充斥着无穷刺激的数字化时代让事情变得更糟。“在2000年，人的专注时长平均为12秒，到2013年降为仅8秒（比金鱼还短1秒！）”微软(<span word="Microsoft">Microsoft</span>)加拿大分公司在对2000名加拿大人进行研究后得出了这样的结论。</p>
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