《非诚勿扰》中征婚启事的英译版(搞笑)
<p><span word="Here">Here</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="announcement">announcement</span> <span word="looking">looking</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="bride">bride</span>.</p><p>他的征婚启事是这么写的:</p><p><span word="If">If</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="looking">looking</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="handsome">handsome</span> <span word="guy">guy</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="wallet">wallet</span>,<span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="reply">reply</span>;<span word="If">If</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="hold">hold</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="Master">Master</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="degree">degree</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="higher">higher</span>, <span word="not">not</span> <span word="possible">possible</span>;<span word="girls">girls</span> <span word="born">born</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="Shanghai">Shanghai</span>, <span word="not">not</span> <span word="possible">possible</span>;<span word="female">female</span> <span word="entrepreneurs">entrepreneurs</span>(<span word="except">except</span> <span word="small">small</span> <span word="business">business</span> <span word="hawker">hawker</span>), <span word="not">not</span> <span word="possible">possible</span>, <span word="so">so</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="waste">waste</span> <span word="each">each</span> <span word="other">other</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="hope">hope</span>。 <span word="The">The</span> <span word="Andy">Andy</span> <span word="Liu">Liu</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="Tom">Tom</span> <span word="criuse">criuse</span> <span word="kind">kind</span>, ,<span word="who">who</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="wealthy">wealthy</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="good">good</span>-<span word="looking">looking</span>, <span word="would">would</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="announcement">announcement</span> <span word="looking">looking</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="you">you</span>. <span word="Surely">Surely</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="expect">expect</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="Notting">Notting</span> <span word="Hill">Hill</span> <span word="story">story</span> <span word="either">either</span>. <span word="Even">Even</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="you">you</span>'<span word="re">re</span> <span word="indeed">indeed</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="angle">angle</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="won">won</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="able">able</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="handle">handle</span> <span word="you">you</span>---<span word="I">I</span> <span word="don">don</span>'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="expect">expect</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="looks">looks</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="girl">girl</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="magazine">magazine</span> <span word="cover">cover</span>, <span word="just">just</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="look">look</span> <span word="crushing">crushing</span> <span word="people">people</span>'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="souls">souls</span>。<span word="An">An</span> <span word="averge">averge</span> <span word="person">person</span>, <span word="with">with</span> <span word="outside">outside</span> <span word="stylishness">stylishness</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="inside">inside</span> <span word="conservativeness">conservativeness</span>,<span word="with">with</span> <span word="fit">fit</span> <span word="body">body</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="mind">mind</span>,<span word="will">will</span> <span word="just">just</span> <span word="do">do</span>, <span word="even">even</span> <span word="better">better</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="you">you</span>'<span word="re">re</span> <span word="beautifully">beautifully</span> <span word="shy">shy</span>. <span word="You">You</span> <span word="need">need</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="play">play</span> <span word="too">too</span> <span word="many">many</span> <span word="tricks">tricks</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="too">too</span> <span word="young">young</span>, <span word="from">from</span> <span word="time">time</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="time">time</span>, <span word="you">you</span>'<span word="re">re</span> <span word="allowed">allowed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="unrealistic">unrealistic</span> <span word="dreams">dreams</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="few">few</span> <span word="words">words</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="enough">enough</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="get">get</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="back">back</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="reality">reality</span> <span word="without">without</span> <span word="getting">getting</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="angry">angry</span>--<span word="a">a</span> <span word="little">little</span> <span word="embarassed">embarassed</span> <span word="grin">grin</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="most">most</span>,<span word="and">and</span> <span word="then">then</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="ought">ought</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="woman">woman</span> <span word="who">who</span> <span word="knows">knows</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="fold">fold</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="way">way</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="whenever">whenever</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="finish">finish</span> <span word="washing">washing</span>, <span word="ironing">ironing</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="folding">folding</span> <span word="them">them</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="look">look</span> <span word="just">just</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="bought">bought</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="stores">stores</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="cannot">cannot</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="specific">specific</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="this">this</span>, <span word="can">can</span> <span word="it">it</span>? </p><p>你要想找一帅哥就别来了，你要想找一钱包就别见了，硕士学历以上的免谈，上海女人免谈，女企业家免谈(小商小贩除外)，省得咱们互相都会失望。刘德华和阿汤哥那种财貌双全的郎君是不会来征你的婚的，当然我也没有做诺丁山的梦。您要真是一仙女我也接不住，没期待您长得更画报封面一样看一眼就魂飞魄散。外表时尚，内心保守，身心都健康的一般人就行，要是多少还有点儿婉约那就更靠谱了。心眼儿别太多岁数别太小，允许时常有不切实际的想入非非，但三句话就能给轰回现实还不气脑顶多有点儿难为情地咧嘴一笑就该干吗干吗去了。我喜欢会叠衣服的女人，每次洗完烫平叠得都像刚从商店里买回来的一样。说得够具体了吧。</p>
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