63岁时的领悟：我讨厌钢琴
<p>我八岁开始学习钢琴，老师换了一个又一个，钢琴课总是让我欢喜让我忧。63岁时，我终于发现：原来人生可以有更好的选择。</p><p><span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="eight">eight</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="met">met</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="first">first</span> <span word="piano">piano</span> <span word="teacher">teacher</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="remember">remember</span> <span word="everything">everything</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="her">her</span>.</p><p><span word="Tuesdays">Tuesdays</span> <span word="after">after</span> <span word="school">school</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="drag">drag</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="reluctant">reluctant</span> <span word="little">little</span>-<span word="girl">girl</span> <span word="self">self</span> <span word="down">down</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="hill">hill</span> <span word="toward">toward</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="brown">brown</span>-<span word="brick">brick</span> <span word="house">house</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="shoe">shoe</span> <span word="factory">factory</span>.</p><p><span word="Every">Every</span> <span word="trudging">trudging</span> <span word="step">step</span> <span word="took">took</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="closer">closer</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="doom">doom</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="knew">knew</span> <span word="awaited">awaited</span>. <span word="Sameness">Sameness</span> <span word="ruled">ruled</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="piano">piano</span> <span word="teacher">teacher</span>’<span word="s">s</span> <span word="house">house</span>—<span word="let">let</span>’<span word="s">s</span> <span word="call">call</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="Mrs">Mrs</span>. <span word="Kaufman">Kaufman</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="assumed">assumed</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="Mr">Mr</span>. <span word="Kaufman">Kaufman</span> <span word="stuffed">stuffed</span> <span word="away">away</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="corner">corner</span> <span word="somewhere">somewhere</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="never">never</span> <span word="laid">laid</span> <span word="eyes">eyes</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="him">him</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="dress">dress</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="remember">remember</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="Mrs">Mrs</span>. <span word="Kaufman">Kaufman</span> <span word="matched">matched</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="colour">colour</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="bricks">bricks</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="house">house</span>. <span word="Her">Her</span> <span word="grey">grey</span> <span word="hair">hair</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="pulled">pulled</span> <span word="back">back</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="chignon">chignon</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="tightly">tightly</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="stretched">stretched</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="corners">corners</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="mouth">mouth</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="taut">taut</span> <span word="blue">blue</span> <span word="line">line</span>.</p><p><span word="I">I</span>’<span word="d">d</span> <span word="step">step</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="gloom">gloom</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="hallway">hallway</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="hang">hang</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="coat">coat</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="wooden">wooden</span> <span word="pegs">pegs</span>. <span word="She">She</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="usher">usher</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="wordlessly">wordlessly</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="sitting">sitting</span> <span word="room">room</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="heavy">heavy</span> <span word="damask">damask</span> <span word="curtains">curtains</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="imagined">imagined</span>, <span word="had">had</span> <span word="never">never</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="drawn">drawn</span> <span word="during">during</span> <span word="the">the</span> 200 <span word="years">years</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="certain">certain</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="lived">lived</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="invisible">invisible</span> <span word="Mr">Mr</span>. <span word="Kaufman">Kaufman</span>.</p><p><span word="Mrs">Mrs</span>. <span word="Kaufman">Kaufman</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="begin">begin</span> <span word="each">each</span> <span word="lesson">lesson</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="throat">throat</span>-<span word="clearing">clearing</span> <span word="sound">sound</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="roughly">roughly</span> <span word="translated">translated</span> <span word="into">into</span> “<span word="take">take</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="seat">seat</span>”. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="knew">knew</span> <span word="enough">enough</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="leave">leave</span> <span word="room">room</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="hard">hard</span> <span word="bench">bench</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="join">join</span> <span word="me">me</span>. <span word="On">On</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="shelf">shelf</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="music">music</span> <span word="sat">sat</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="long">long</span> <span word="wooden">wooden</span> <span word="stick">stick</span>, <span word="meant">meant</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="refashion">refashion</span> <span word="recalcitrant">recalcitrant</span> <span word="schoolgirl">schoolgirl</span> <span word="fingers">fingers</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="well">well</span>-<span word="rounded">rounded</span> <span word="arches">arches</span>. <span word="Now">Now</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="again">again</span> <span word="I">I</span>’<span word="d">d</span> <span word="feel">feel</span> <span word="its">its</span> <span word="light">light</span> <span word="tap">tap</span> <span word="upon">upon</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="knuckles">knuckles</span>. <span word="On">On</span> <span word="occasion">occasion</span>, <span word="Mrs">Mrs</span>. <span word="Kaufman">Kaufman</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="daub">daub</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="end">end</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="nose">nose</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lace">lace</span> <span word="handkerchief">handkerchief</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="hanky">hanky</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="then">then</span> <span word="disappear">disappear</span> <span word="into">into</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="folds">folds</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="brown">brown</span> <span word="dress">dress</span>.</p>
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