三篇短文与一个老外的评语（六）
<p><span word="Finally">Finally</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="third">third</span> <span word="essay">essay</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="overall">overall</span> <span word="structure">structure</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="story">story</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="quite">quite</span> <span word="well">well</span> <span word="controlled">controlled</span>, <span word="though">though</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="logical">logical</span> <span word="links">links</span> <span word="between">between</span> <span word="individual">individual</span> <span word="events">events</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="improved">improved</span>. <span word="For">For</span> <span word="example">example</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="employee">employee</span> <span word="showed">showed</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="manager">manager</span>, <span word="so">so</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="going">going</span> <span word="towards">towards</span> <span word="him">him</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="then">then</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="manager">manager</span> <span word="approached">approached</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="behind">behind</span>. <span word="Finally">Finally</span>, <span word="she">she</span> <span word="looked">looked</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="saw">saw</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="frown">frown</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="again">again</span> <span word="suggests">suggests</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="facing">facing</span> <span word="him">him</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="these">these</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="errors">errors</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="corrected">corrected</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="careful">careful</span> <span word="thought">thought</span>. <span word="What">What</span> <span word="really">really</span> <span word="made">made</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="essay">essay</span> <span word="different">different</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="all">all</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="others">others</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="single">single</span> <span word="phrase">phrase</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="leapt">leapt</span> <span word="off">off</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="page">page</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="me">me</span>? <span word="mosquitos">mosquitos</span> <span word="voice">voice</span>. <span word="This">This</span> <span word="phrase">phrase</span>,<span word="unexpected">unexpected</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="metaphorical">metaphorical</span>, <span word="shows">shows</span> <span word="precise">precise</span> <span word="observation">observation</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="life">life</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="clearly">clearly</span> <span word="expresses">expresses</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="complex">complex</span> <span word="set">set</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="features">features</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="way">way</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="writer">writer</span> <span word="spoke">spoke</span>. <span word="Think">Think</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="nights">nights</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="hear">hear</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="high">high</span>-<span word="pitched">pitched</span> <span word="whine">whine</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="mosquito">mosquito</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="dark">dark</span>. <span word="You">You</span> <span word="dont">dont</span> <span word="know">know</span> <span word="where">where</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="flap">flap</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="hands">hands</span> <span word="madly">madly</span> <span word="trying">trying</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="hit">hit</span> <span word="it">it</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="without">without</span> <span word="success">success</span>. <span word="Now">Now</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="writer">writer</span>: <span word="Her">Her</span> <span word="voice">voice</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="high">high</span>-<span word="pitched">pitched</span>, <span word="from">from</span> <span word="nervousness">nervousness</span> <span word="probably">probably</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="probably">probably</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="feeling">feeling</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="came">came</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="somewhere">somewhere</span> <span word="else">else</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="under">under</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="control">control</span>? <span word="just">just</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="mosquito">mosquito</span>. <span word="A">A</span> <span word="striking">striking</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="very">very</span> <span word="effective">effective</span> <span word="image">image</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="lifted">lifted</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="essay">essay</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="crowd">crowd</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="me">me</span>.</p>
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