余光中：《尺素寸心》(节选)
<p>尺素寸心(节选)</p><p><span word="An">An</span> <span word="Excerpt">Excerpt</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="Limited">Limited</span> <span word="Words">Words</span> <span word="vs">vs</span>. <span word="Boundless">Boundless</span> <span word="Friendship">Friendship</span></p><p>余光中</p><p><span word="By">By</span> <span word="Yu">Yu</span> <span word="Guangzhong">Guangzhong</span></p><p>回信，固然可畏，不回信，也绝非什么乐事。书架上经常叠着百多封未回之信，债龄或长或短，长的甚至一年以上，那样的压力，也绝非一个普通的罪徒所能负担的。一叠未回的信，就像一群不散的阴魂，在我罪深孽重的心底幢幢作祟。理论上说来，这些信当然是要回的。我可以坦然向天发誓，在我清醒的时刻，我绝未存心不回人信。问题出在技术上。给我一整个夏夜的空闲，我该先回一年半前的那封信呢，还是七个月前的这封信?隔了这么久，恐怕连谢罪自谴的有效期也早过了吧。在朋友的心目中，你早已沦为不值得计较的妄人。莫名其妙!是你在江湖上一致的评语。</p><p><span word="Replying">Replying</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="letter">letter</span> <span word="does">does</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="flinch">flinch</span>; <span word="however">however</span>, <span word="unreplied">unreplied</span> <span word="letters">letters</span> <span word="allow">allow</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="release">release</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="all">all</span>. <span word="Dozens">Dozens</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="unreplied">unreplied</span> <span word="letters">letters</span> <span word="pile">pile</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="bookshelf">bookshelf</span>, <span word="like">like</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="sum">sum</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="debt">debt</span> <span word="waiting">waiting</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="paid">paid</span>. <span word="Some">Some</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="waiting">waiting</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="over">over</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="year">year</span>, <span word="while">while</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="newly">newly</span> <span word="arrived">arrived</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="pressure">pressure</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="paying">paying</span> <span word="off">off</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="debt">debt</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="far">far</span> <span word="beyond">beyond</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="junior">junior</span> <span word="debtor">debtor</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="endure">endure</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="stack">stack</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="unreplied">unreplied</span> <span word="letters">letters</span> <span word="are">are</span>, <span word="like">like</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="group">group</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="haunting">haunting</span> <span word="ghosts">ghosts</span>, <span word="continually">continually</span> <span word="pestering">pestering</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="guilt">guilt</span>-<span word="loaded">loaded</span> <span word="soul">soul</span>. <span word="Conventionally">Conventionally</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="letters">letters</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="certainly">certainly</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="replied">replied</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="even">even</span> <span word="swear">swear</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="heaven">heaven</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="never">never</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="intention">intention</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="reply">reply</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="mind">mind</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="clear">clear</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="problem">problem</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="reply">reply</span>. <span word="Even">Even</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="spared">spared</span> <span word="myself">myself</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="whole">whole</span> <span word="summer">summer</span> <span word="night">night</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="wavering">wavering</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="which">which</span> <span word="letter">letter</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="reply">reply</span> <span word="first">first</span>, <span word="the">the</span> 18-<span word="month">month</span>-<span word="old">old</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="the">the</span> 7-<span word="month">month</span>-<span word="old">old</span>? <span word="The">The</span> <span word="reply">reply</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="delayed">delayed</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="long">long</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="Im">Im</span> <span word="afraid">afraid</span> <span word="even">even</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="heartfelt">heartfelt</span> <span word="apology">apology</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="already">already</span> <span word="lost">lost</span> <span word="its">its</span> <span word="power">power</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="friends">friends</span> <span word="heart">heart</span>, <span word="Ive">Ive</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="marginalized">marginalized</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="cocky">cocky</span> <span word="man">man</span> <span word="unworthy">unworthy</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="care">care</span>. <span word="Unaccountable">Unaccountable</span>! <span word="That">That</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="unanimous">unanimous</span> <span word="comment">comment</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="me">me</span>.</p>
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