我的德国家庭交流记:裸体郊游,天体家庭
我16岁时参加了一个交流项目，在柏林──西柏林，因为当时仍有一道 将这座城市分隔开──的一个家庭中住了三个月。他们一家人都很好，母亲是老师，父亲是工程师，漂亮而活力四射的女儿（最近她和我们全家一起待在多伦多），他们的儿子比我大一、两岁。后来我发现，他们家所有人都是一个叫<span word="Freik">Freik</span>?<span word="rperkultur">rperkultur</span>（<span word="FKK">FKK</span>，翻译过来就是“自由身体文化”）的团体的活跃成员。这个团体说白了就是一个天体俱乐部。<span word="I">I</span> <span word="hadnt">hadnt</span> <span word="expected">expected</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="signed">signed</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="German">German</span> <span word="cultural">cultural</span> <span word="exchange">exchange</span> <span word="through">through</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="high">high</span> <span word="school">school</span>; <span word="somehow">somehow</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="hadnt">hadnt</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="aware">aware</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="might">might</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="get">get</span> <span word="naked">naked</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="public">public</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="fact">fact</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="knew">knew</span> <span word="shamefully">shamefully</span> <span word="little">little</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="host">host</span> <span word="country">country</span>. <span word="Yet">Yet</span> <span word="nudism">nudism</span>, <span word="as">as</span> <span word="far">far</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="know">know</span>, <span word="is">is</span> <span word="fairly">fairly</span> <span word="mainstream">mainstream</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="Germany">Germany</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="day">day</span> (<span word="and">and</span> <span word="not">not</span>, <span word="as">as</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="here">here</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="province">province</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="hippies">hippies</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="public">public</span> <span word="radio">radio</span> <span word="humorists">humorists</span>).当我在高中报名参加一个德国文化交流活动时，可没有料到这些，至少没有意识到我不得不在公共场合赤身裸体。事实上，我对东道国的了解少得可怜。然而就我所知，迄今为止，天体主义在德国都是相当主流的文化（和我们这个盛产嬉皮士和电台笑星的国家不同）。<span word="The">The</span> <span word="nudist">nudist</span> <span word="outings">outings</span> <span word="were">were</span> <span word="going">going</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="pretty">pretty</span> <span word="much">much</span> <span word="mandatory">mandatory</span>, <span word="my">my</span> <span word="hosts">hosts</span> <span word="explained">explained</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="me">me</span>─<span word="much">much</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="speaking">speaking</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="language">language</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="eating">eating</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="food">food</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="family">family</span> <span word="felt">felt</span> <span word="strongly">strongly</span> <span word="that">that</span>, <span word="to">to</span> <span word="properly">properly</span> <span word="explore">explore</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="native">native</span> <span word="ways">ways</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="needed">needed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="join">join</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="nudist">nudist</span> <span word="activities">activities</span>. <span word="If">If</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="closed">closed</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="mind">mind</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="nudism">nudism</span>, <span word="Id">Id</span> <span word="prove">prove</span> <span word="myself">myself</span> <span word="closed">closed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="wonder">wonder</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="life">life</span> <span word="itself">itself</span>. <span word="While">While</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="punishment">punishment</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="refused">refused</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="participate">participate</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="implied">implied</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="such">such</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lapse">lapse</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="courage">courage</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="part">part</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="signal">signal</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="deep">deep</span> <span word="moral">moral</span> <span word="failure">failure</span>─<span word="possibly">possibly</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="spiritual">spiritual</span> <span word="one">one</span>.主人家向我解释说，裸体郊游是非常有必要的──就像说话和吃东西一样。这家人强烈地感到，为了正确了解本地人的生活方式，我需要加入天体活动。如果我拒绝接受天体主义，就等于拒绝接受生活本身的美妙。尽管我拒绝参与的话不会受到什么惩罚，但他们暗示，我缺乏勇气的表现意味着深层的道德缺陷──可能是心灵缺陷。<span word="At">At</span> 16, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="resilient">resilient</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="easygoing">easygoing</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="am">am</span> <span word="now">now</span>. <span word="After">After</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="few">few</span> <span word="hours">hours</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="confusion">confusion</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="mild">mild</span> <span word="alarm">alarm</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="shrugged">shrugged</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="shoulders">shoulders</span>, <span word="suppressed">suppressed</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="panic">panic</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="acquiesced">acquiesced</span>.16岁的时候，我比现在更有弹性、更随和。几个小时的困惑和轻微的担心后，我耸耸肩，压抑住自己的恐慌，默许了。<span word="The">The</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="news">news</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="nudity">nudity</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="mostly">mostly</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="weekend">weekend</span> <span word="gig">gig</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="drove">drove</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="Free">Free</span> <span word="Body">Body</span> <span word="Culture">Culture</span> <span word="property">property</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="involved">involved</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="body">body</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="fresh">fresh</span> <span word="water">water</span>, <span word="expanses">expanses</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="bedraggled">bedraggled</span> <span word="grass">grass</span> <span word="richly">richly</span> <span word="festooned">festooned</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="goose">goose</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="duck">duck</span> <span word="droppings">droppings</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="few">few</span> <span word="stunted">stunted</span> <span word="trees">trees</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="passed">passed</span> <span word="through">through</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="change">change</span> <span word="rooms">rooms</span>, <span word="where">where</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="divested">divested</span> <span word="ourselves">ourselves</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="left">left</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="unlocked">unlocked</span> <span word="lockers">lockers</span>. <span word="And">And</span> <span word="then">then</span> <span word="among">among</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="shrubs">shrubs</span>, <span word="hundreds">hundreds</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="free">free</span> <span word="bodies">bodies</span> <span word="spread">spread</span> <span word="out">out</span>, <span word="picnicking">picnicking</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="sunning">sunning</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="came">came</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="understand">understand</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="German">German</span> <span word="nudist">nudist</span>, <span word="in">in</span> 1984, <span word="loved">loved</span> <span word="little">little</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="work">work</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="her">her</span> <span word="tan">tan</span>.好消息是，这次天体活动基本上就是一次周末小聚。我们驾车前往“自由身体文化”的活动场地，那里有一片淡水湖，广阔的草地上满是鹅和鸭的粪便，还有几棵矮小的树木。我们经过更衣室，在那里脱下衣服，将它们放在未上锁的储物柜里。然后，数百个一丝不挂的人在灌木丛中伸展四肢，享用野餐、晒日光浴。就在1984年，我开始理解，对于一个德国天体主义者来说，没有比晒太阳更令他们喜欢的事了。<span word="There">There</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="code">code</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="eye">eye</span> <span word="contact">contact</span>: <span word="You">You</span> <span word="didnt">didnt</span> <span word="ogle">ogle</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="below">below</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="neck">neck</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="talked">talked</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="them">them</span>. <span word="You">You</span> <span word="kept">kept</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="eyes">eyes</span> <span word="fixed">fixed</span> <span word="firmly">firmly</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="faces">faces</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="course">course</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="looked">looked</span> <span word="later">later</span>, <span word="when">when</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="thought">thought</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="paying">paying</span> <span word="attention">attention</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="remember">remember</span> <span word="noticing">noticing</span> <span word="old">old</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="middle">middle</span>-<span word="aged">aged</span> <span word="bodies">bodies</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="feeling">feeling</span> <span word="sorry">sorry</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="owners">owners</span>: <span word="how">how</span> <span word="tragic">tragic</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="saggy">saggy</span>, <span word="bulgy">bulgy</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="wrinkly">wrinkly</span>. <span word="How">How</span> <span word="strange">strange</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="apparently">apparently</span> <span word="proud">proud</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="condition">condition</span>, <span word="rather">rather</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="mortified">mortified</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="it">it</span>.这里有一条目光接触守则：当你和别人聊天时，不应注视对方脖子以下的部位。你应将目光牢牢固定在他们脸上。当然，当你认为没人注意时，会趁机偷看。我记得我注意到中老年人的身体很难看：如此皮肤松弛、身材臃肿、皱纹遍布是多么可悲。为此感到骄傲而不是窘迫可真奇怪。<span word="It">It</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="little">little</span> <span word="odd">odd</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="naked">naked</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="company">company</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="teenage">teenage</span> <span word="son">son</span>, <span word="whom">whom</span> <span word="Id">Id</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="met">met</span> <span word="days">days</span> <span word="before">before</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="he">he</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="casual">casual</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="good">good</span>-<span word="natured">natured</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="almost">almost</span> <span word="forgot">forgot</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="freakish">freakish</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="blithely">blithely</span> <span word="disrobe">disrobe</span> <span word="among">among</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="boys">boys</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="knew">knew</span> <span word="back">back</span> <span word="home">home</span>.和主人家十几岁的儿子一起裸露着身体有点奇怪，我可是几天前才认识他的。但是他状态很放松，脾气很好，我几乎忘掉了在我认识的这些男孩中轻率地脱掉衣服有多奇怪。<span word="My">My</span> <span word="main">main</span> <span word="complaint">complaint</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="sunbathing">sunbathing</span> <span word="afternoons">afternoons</span> <span word="proved">proved</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="self">self</span>-<span word="consciousness">consciousness</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="simple">simple</span> <span word="boredom">boredom</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="wondered">wondered</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="these">these</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="were">were</span> <span word="doing">doing</span>, <span word="sitting">sitting</span> <span word="around">around</span> <span word="naked">naked</span>, <span word="chitchatting">chitchatting</span> <span word="now">now</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="then">then</span>. <span word="Were">Were</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="waiting">waiting</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="something">something</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="happen">happen</span>?事实证明，对于在下午晒日光浴，我主要的不满不是难为情，而是觉得这样做很无聊。我奇怪这些人赤身裸体地坐着闲聊要干什么。他们是等待着什么事情发生吗？<span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="definitely">definitely</span> <span word="waiting">waiting</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="something">something</span>, <span word="especially">especially</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="felt">felt</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="chill">chill</span> <span word="breeze">breeze</span> <span word="sweep">sweep</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="water">water</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="waiting">waiting</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="allowed">allowed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="put">put</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span> <span word="back">back</span> <span word="on">on</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="tan">tan</span>-<span word="giving">giving</span> <span word="sun">sun</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="all">all</span> <span word="very">very</span> <span word="well">well</span>; <span word="actual">actual</span> <span word="comfort">comfort</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="far">far</span> <span word="better">better</span>. <span word="m">m</span> <span word="cold">cold</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="plaintively">plaintively</span> <span word="expressed">expressed</span>, <span word="more">more</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="once">once</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="each">each</span> <span word="time">time</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="obvious">obvious</span> <span word="constitutional">constitutional</span> <span word="weakness">weakness</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="met">met</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="strict">strict</span> <span word="disapproval">disapproval</span>.我绝对是在等待着什么，尤其是当我感到一阵寒冷的微风从水面上吹来时。我等待着可以穿上衣服的那一刻。能晒黑皮肤的阳光很好，不过实实在在的舒适感更好。“我冷”，我不止一次哀怨地表示，但弱不禁风的我每次都遭到了严辞拒绝。<span word="It">It</span> <span word="wasnt">wasnt</span> <span word="all">all</span> <span word="sunbathing">sunbathing</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="small">small</span> <span word="talk">talk</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="also">also</span> <span word="swam">swam</span> <span word="naked">naked</span>─<span word="I">I</span> <span word="remember">remember</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="actual">actual</span> <span word="swim">swim</span> <span word="meet">meet</span>─<span word="and">and</span> <span word="played">played</span> <span word="basketball">basketball</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="basketball">basketball</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="worst">worst</span>.那天也不全是日光浴和闲聊。我们还裸泳──我记得有一次真正的游泳比赛──并打了篮球。打篮球的经历是最糟糕的。<span word="We">We</span> <span word="wore">wore</span> <span word="nothing">nothing</span> <span word="but">but</span> <span word="sneakers">sneakers</span>. <span word="No">No</span> <span word="brassieres">brassieres</span>, <span word="no">no</span> <span word="jockstraps">jockstraps</span>. <span word="There">There</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="flopping">flopping</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="pain">pain</span>. <span word="There">There</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="sight">sight</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="nude">nude</span> <span word="people">people</span>, <span word="bouncing">bouncing</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="swinging">swinging</span> <span word="above">above</span> <span word="bulky">bulky</span> <span word="white">white</span> <span word="athletic">athletic</span> <span word="shoes">shoes</span>. <span word="Could">Could</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="wonder">wonder</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="German">German</span> <span word="family">family</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="talked">talked</span> <span word="about">about</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="beauty">beauty</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="unclad">unclad</span> <span word="human">human</span> <span word="form">form</span>? <span word="Was">Was</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="jiggling">jiggling</span>, <span word="dangling">dangling</span> <span word="dance">dance</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="large">large</span>, <span word="orange">orange</span> <span word="ball">ball</span> <span word="indeed">indeed</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="highest">highest</span>, <span word="purest">purest</span> <span word="identity">identity</span>?我们除了运动鞋什么都没穿。没戴胸罩，也没穿弹力护身。我们笨重地摔倒，痛苦不已。你所看到的就是赤裸的人们穿着笨重的白色运动鞋跳来转去。这就是我的德国交换家庭所说的赤裸人类形态的美妙之处吗？这种拍着一个橙色大球、摇摇晃晃的舞蹈真的是我们至高至纯的特性吗？<span word="I">I</span> <span word="tried">tried</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="open">open</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="mind">mind</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="jumped">jumped</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="flopped">flopped</span>. <span word="Id">Id</span> <span word="jam">jam</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="open">open</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="could">could</span>. <span word="Open">Open</span>, <span word="O">O</span> <span word="Mind">Mind</span>! <span word="Open">Open</span> <span word="right">right</span> <span word="now">now</span>! <span word="Ill">Ill</span> <span word="prise">prise</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="open">open</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="clawhammer">clawhammer</span>!我一边蹦蹦跳跳，一边试图敞开心扉。如果我可以，我会尽全力打开它的。快打开！我的心灵！现在就打开！我会用木工锤把你撬开的！<span word="And">And</span> <span word="yet">yet</span>, <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="end">end</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="Germans">Germans</span> <span word="were">were</span> <span word="absolutely">absolutely</span> <span word="right">right</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="Free">Free</span> <span word="Body">Body</span> <span word="Culture">Culture</span> <span word="gave">gave</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="gift">gift</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="might">might</span> <span word="never">never</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="received">received</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="refused">refused</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="play">play</span> <span word="along">along</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="left">left</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="acute">acute</span> <span word="sense">sense</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="absurd">absurd</span>─<span word="one">one</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="still">still</span> <span word="cherish">cherish</span>─<span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="there">there</span> <span word="among">among</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="fellow">fellow</span> <span word="apes">apes</span>, <span word="awkward">awkward</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="less">less</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="half">half</span>-<span word="willing">willing</span>, <span word="aiming">aiming</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="missing">missing</span>, <span word="leaping">leaping</span>, <span word="landing">landing</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="wincing">wincing</span>.结果证明，这些德国人是绝对正确的。“自由身体文化”给了我一份如果我拒绝参与就可能永远得不到的礼物。它让我有一种强烈的荒诞感──与猿类同伴共处的荒诞感──至今我仍珍视这种感觉，这种尴尬而不情愿、瞄准又错过、跳起、着地和闪避的感觉。</p>
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