美国晚间脱口秀笑话精选
<p>汇集美国各大晚间脱口秀中一些搞笑<span word="Monologue">Monologue</span>, 时事性资讯性外加些美国幽默。</p><p><span word="March">March</span> 26, 2009</p><p>"<span word="I">I</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="plan">plan</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="end">end</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="war">war</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="Iraq">Iraq</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="Afghanistan">Afghanistan</span>. <span word="Here">Here</span>\'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="what">what</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="do">do</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="bring">bring</span> <span word="all">all</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="soldiers">soldiers</span> <span word="home">home</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="send">send</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="investment">investment</span> <span word="bankers">bankers</span>. <span word="They">They</span>\'<span word="ll">ll</span> <span word="screw">screw</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="place">place</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="six">six</span> <span word="months">months</span>. <span word="Six">Six</span> <span word="months">months</span>!" --<span word="Jay">Jay</span> <span word="Leno">Leno</span></p><p>“我有一个计划，可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争。我们这么做。我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来。我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里。他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂。 只要6个月！”-杰·雷诺</p><p>"<span word="A">A</span> <span word="construction">construction</span> <span word="worker">worker</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="Queens">Queens</span>, <span word="New">New</span> <span word="York">York</span>, <span word="used">used</span> <span word="Bernard">Bernard</span> <span word="Madoff">Madoff</span>\'<span word="s">s</span> <span word="prison">prison</span> <span word="number">number</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="play">play</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="lottery">lottery</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="won">won</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="guy">guy</span> <span word="won">won</span> $1,500. <span word="Bernard">Bernard</span> <span word="Madoff">Madoff</span>, <span word="of">of</span> <span word="course">course</span>, <span word="is">is</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="prison">prison</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="luring">luring</span> <span word="money">money</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="rich">rich</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="giant">giant</span> <span word="scam">scam</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="promised">promised</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="richer">richer</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="don">don</span>\'<span word="t">t</span> <span word="confuse">confuse</span> <span word="him">him</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="state">state</span> <span word="lottery">lottery</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="lures">lures</span> <span word="money">money</span> <span word="away">away</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="poor">poor</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="giant">giant</span> <span word="scam">scam</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="promises">promises</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="richer">richer</span>." --<span word="Jay">Jay</span> <span word="Leno">Leno</span></p><p>“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人，用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码，买彩票中了奖。这个家伙中了1500美元。当然，伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里，是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局，来吸走富人的钱。但是，请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆。州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局，来吸走穷人的钱。” ——杰·雷诺</p>
页:
[1]