考研英语看作文范例点评：考学生or烤家长
<p> 2015考研英语看图作文范例点评：考学生<span word="or">or</span>烤家长</p><p> 写作原文</p><p> <span word="In">In</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="given">given</span> <span word="picture">picture</span>, <span word="there">there</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="many">many</span> <span word="parents">parents</span> <span word="standing">standing</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="gate">gate</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="examination">examination</span> <span word="room">room</span>. <span word="As">As</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="see">see</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="worried">worried</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="sweat">sweat</span> <span word="began">began</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="pour">pour</span> <span word="down">down</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="face">face</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="china">china</span>, <span word="it">it</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="common">common</span> <span word="knowledge">knowledge</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="exam">exam</span> <span word="decides">decides</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="future">future</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="children">children</span>. <span word="Hence">Hence</span>, <span word="it">it</span> <span word="reflects">reflects</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="problem">problem</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="educational">educational</span> <span word="system">system</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="unreasonable">unreasonable</span>.<span word="In">In</span> <span word="fact">fact</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="problem">problem</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="existed">existed</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="several">several</span> <span word="years">years</span>. <span word="Especially">Especially</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="china">china</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="examination">examination</span> <span word="score">score</span> <span word="decides">decides</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="childrens">childrens</span> <span word="development">development</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="future">future</span>.<span word="In">In</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="sense">sense</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="examination">examination</span> <span word="seems">seems</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="standard">standard</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="chooses">chooses</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="talents">talents</span>. <span word="Furthermore">Furthermore</span>, <span word="it">it</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="terrible">terrible</span> <span word="educational">educational</span> <span word="system">system</span> . <span word="I">I</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="must">must</span> <span word="take">take</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="effective">effective</span> <span word="measures">measures</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="solve">solve</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="problem">problem</span>.<span word="In">In</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="opinion">opinion</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="adopt">adopt</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="following">following</span> <span word="measures">measures</span>. <span word="On">On</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="hand">hand</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="reform">reform</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="educational">educational</span> <span word="institution">institution</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="establish">establish</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="flexible">flexible</span> <span word="approach">approach</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="choose">choose</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="talent">talent</span> . <span word="On">On</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="hand">hand</span>, <span word="parents">parents</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="give">give</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="idea">idea</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="exam">exam</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="key">key</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="judge">judge</span> <span word="childrens">childrens</span> <span word="ability">ability</span>.</p><p> 总体点评</p><p> 本文立意正确，内容切题，结构完整,需注意以下问题：1、文章的立意虽然正确，且深入切题，但文章的内容不够丰富充实，原因分析不够深刻。第二段在分析造成现象的时候提出了三点考试决定孩子的未来考试是选拔人才的唯一标准教育制度很差考试为什么会决定孩子的未来，它怎样决定了孩子的未来?为什么是选拔人才的唯一标准?教育制度很差，体现在什么方面?2、文章内容的衔接逻辑不是很清楚，如第二段先说考试决定未来后说考试是选拔人才的唯一标准，而实际上正因为在目前考试是选拔人才的唯一标准，所以考试在某种意义上决定了孩子的未来。3、文章依然存有少许汉式思维的句子，有的词组搭配不合理，应在此方面加强。多模仿一些经典佳句。因此，建议作者以后在写作之中不要提笔就写，先列出一个大纲，把自己的思路理顺，使自己的文章逻辑清晰，通顺流畅。</p>
页:
[1]