考研英语看作文范例点评：手机依赖症
<p> 下面是2015考研英语看图作文范例评点：手机依赖症</p><p> 写作原文</p><p> <span word="What">What</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="thought">thought</span>-<span word="provoking">provoking</span> <span word="picture">picture</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="picture">picture</span>, <span word="although">although</span> <span word="setting">setting</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="same">same</span> <span word="table">table</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="dinner">dinner</span>, <span word="people">people</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="completely">completely</span> <span word="absorbed">absorbed</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="mobile">mobile</span> <span word="phones">phones</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="communicating">communicating</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="others">others</span> <span word="through">through</span> <span word="QQ">QQ</span>, <span word="playing">playing</span> <span word="games">games</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="purchasing">purchasing</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="online">online</span> <span word="shop">shop</span>.<span word="Undoubtedly">Undoubtedly</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="drawer">drawer</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="cartoon">cartoon</span> <span word="reveals">reveals</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="common">common</span> <span word="phenomenon">phenomenon</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="mobile">mobile</span> <span word="phones">phones</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="life">life</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="becoming">becoming</span> <span word="so">so</span> <span word="important">important</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="generate">generate</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="increasingly">increasingly</span> <span word="serious">serious</span> <span word="emotions">emotions</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="dependence">dependence</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="it">it</span>. <span word="Various">Various</span> <span word="reasons">reasons</span> <span word="result">result</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="problem">problem</span>. <span word="On">On</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="hand">hand</span>, <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="Price">Price</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="cell">cell</span> <span word="phones">phones</span> <span word="declining">declining</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="majority">majority</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="ability">ability</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="purchase">purchase</span> <span word="mobiles">mobiles</span> <span word="phones">phones</span>. <span word="For">For</span> <span word="example">example</span>, <span word="everyone">everyone</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="China">China</span> <span word="possessa">possessa</span> <span word="phone">phone</span>. <span word="On">On</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="hand">hand</span>, <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="development">development</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="technology">technology</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="function">function</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="mobile">mobile</span> <span word="phone">phone</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="becoming">becoming</span> <span word="very">very</span> <span word="strong">strong</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="fascinated">fascinated</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="its">its</span> <span word="diversion">diversion</span> .<span word="And">And</span> <span word="above">above</span> <span word="all">all</span>, <span word="modern">modern</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="always">always</span> <span word="too">too</span> <span word="boring">boring</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="exhausted">exhausted</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="need">need</span> <span word="somethingssuch">somethingssuch</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="cell">cell</span> <span word="phones">phones</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="relieve">relieve</span> <span word="pressure">pressure</span>. <span word="Ultimately">Ultimately</span>, <span word="many">many</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="becoming">becoming</span> <span word="salves">salves</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="phones">phones</span>.<span word="In">In</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="opinion">opinion</span>, <span word="mobile">mobile</span> <span word="phones">phones</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="making">making</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="hazard">hazard</span>. <span word="People">People</span> <span word="always">always</span> <span word="waste">waste</span> <span word="lots">lots</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="time">time</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="mobile">mobile</span> <span word="phones">phones</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="impact">impact</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="health">health</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="but">but</span> <span word="also">also</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="ignore">ignore</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="real">real</span> <span word="reality">reality</span>. <span word="Therefore">Therefore</span>, <span word="people">people</span> <span word="must">must</span> <span word="learn">learn</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="develop">develop</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="awareness">awareness</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="using">using</span> <span word="mobiles">mobiles</span> <span word="properly">properly</span>.</p><p> 总体点评</p><p> 文章立意正确，内容切题，结构完整，需要以下问题：1、文章的内容虽然切题，但力度不够，反映到文章中即分析原因不够深入。比如，由于手机价钱下降，很多人有能力购买手机是什么造成了手机价钱下降?现代人经常感到无聊和疲惫，所以用手机来释放压力为什么现代人会无聊和疲惫?2、文章观点正确，但有一点考虑不够全面。如文章一直在强调手机对人们带来的不好影响，但忽视了手机给人们带来的好处。手机除了辐射是自身的缺陷之外，它本质是对人有利的，焦点在于人们应该适度有效利用手机。3、文章有拼写错误，有的已经影响了表达，如<span word="salves">salves</span>。写完之后需仔细检查。4、文章有语法错误，如<span word="everyone">everyone</span>后一般现在时应使用动词的单三形式，需加强自己的语法基础;5、文章有的地方是中式思维，不够地道，如<span word="sit">sit</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="table">table</span>，需多背诵模仿一些经典佳句，使表达更加精准。</p>
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