考研英语作文在线批改范例七
<p><span word="Cooperation">Cooperation</span> <span word="Makes">Makes</span> <span word="Us">Us</span> <span word="Success">Success</span><span word="How">How</span> <span word="vivid">vivid</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="thought">thought</span>-<span word="provoking">provoking</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="picture">picture</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="decreasing">decreasing</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="modern">modern</span> <span word="social">social</span> <span word="phenomenon">phenomenon</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="cooperation">cooperation</span>!<span word="As">As</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="clearly">clearly</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="symbolically">symbolically</span> <span word="shown">shown</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="painting">painting</span>,<span word="two">two</span> <span word="disable">disable</span> <span word="men">men</span> <span word="support">support</span> <span word="each">each</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="powerful">powerful</span> <span word="hands">hands</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="keep">keep</span> <span word="walking">walking</span>.<span word="What">What</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="see">see</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="margin">margin</span> <span word="part">part</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="picture">picture</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="poem">poem</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="means">means</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="two">two</span> <span word="disable">disable</span> <span word="young">young</span> <span word="men">men</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="each">each</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="keeping">keeping</span> <span word="walking">walking</span> <span word="all">all</span> <span word="over">over</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="world">world</span>.（第一段非常出彩。标题简介明了，朗朗上口。描写的也很生动，用了一些很好的形容词，比如<span word="powerful">powerful</span>，<span word="symbolical">symbolical</span>, <span word="thought">thought</span>-<span word="provoking">provoking</span>, <span word="vivid">vivid</span>等等。我唯一不能明白的是在<span word="in">in</span> <span word="decreasing">decreasing</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="modern">modern</span> <span word="social">social</span> <span word="phenomenon">phenomenon</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="cooperation">cooperation</span>!考虑将<span word="a">a</span>放在<span word="decreasing">decreasing</span>前面去）</p><p>&<span word="nbsp">nbsp</span>;<span word="It">It</span> <span word="goes">goes</span> <span word="without">without</span> <span word="saying">saying</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="intention">intention</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="drawing">drawing</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="reveal">reveal</span> <span word="us">us</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="modern">modern</span> <span word="society">society</span>,<span word="a">a</span> <span word="dramatically">dramatically</span> <span word="growing">growing</span> <span word="factor">factor</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="success">success</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="cooperation">cooperation</span>,<span word="the">the</span> <span word="nflence">nflence</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="two">two</span> <span word="young">young</span> <span word="men">men</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="outstanding">outstanding</span>.<span word="i">i</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="find">find</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="better">better</span> <span word="illstration">illstration</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="follwing">follwing</span> . <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="football">football</span> <span word="team">team</span> ,<span word="every">every</span> <span word="member">member</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="team">team</span>.<span word="cooperation">cooperation</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="confidence">confidence</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="success">success</span>. <span word="And">And</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="quiokening">quiokening</span> <span word="pace">pace</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="modern">modern</span> <span word="life">life</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="increasingly">increasingly</span> <span word="fierce">fierce</span> <span word="competation">competation</span> .<span word="in">in</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="society">society</span> ,<span word="hardly">hardly</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="anyone">anyone</span> <span word="succeed">succeed</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="career">career</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="study">study</span> <span word="without">without</span> <span word="cooperation">cooperation</span> .&<span word="nbsp">nbsp</span>;</p><p>评分：18你的写作基本上暂时不用复习了，你已经掌握了写作的要领，你考试时候是否能高分，一要看你是否够仔细，二要看你考前是否有练手，三要看你的运气成分。总之，你的功底是很好的，不用我再赘述一些如何写作的东西。时间有限，你将时间和精力投入到其他课程中去吧。我虽然给了你一个比较高的分数，但是心里还是有点担心。其实，这个漫画的本意是，两个残疾人的合作能让残疾人获得更多，摆脱以往的束缚。强调的是合作对克服自身缺陷的重要性。所以，光合作本身并不是这个漫画的主要意思。虽然你也提到了这层意思，但总感觉你是在说它，又不是在说它，有点擦边球的感觉。比如，你举的例子中就没有提到每个运动员的局限性。当然，你这肯定不是跑题，但会损失一些印象分。另外，一些细节地方，我划线出来的，是我觉得可以改进的地方。</p>
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