考研英语作文在线批改范例六
<p><span word="From">From</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="surface">surface</span> <span word="meaning">meaning</span> <span word="come">come</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="see">see</span>（典型的中式英语从表面来看，读不通。不如简单点写成<span word="From">From</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="picture">picture</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="see">see</span>）: <span word="two">two</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="helped">helped</span>（我们在漫画描述段采用一般现在时态，所以这里应用<span word="help">help</span>） <span word="each">each</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="towards">towards</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="place">place</span> <span word="where">where</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="want">want</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="go">go</span>.<span word="They">They</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="cane">cane</span> <span word="behind">behind</span> <span word="him">him</span>.（此句有语法错误，应为<span word="They">They</span> <span word="throw">throw</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="crutches">crutches</span> <span word="behind">behind</span> <span word="themselves">themselves</span>.）</p><p>&<span word="nbsp">nbsp</span>;<span word="You">You</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="leg">leg</span>, <span word="i">i</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="leg">leg</span>, <span word="you">you</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="together">together</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="example">example</span>, <span word="your">your</span> <span word="legs">legs</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="leg">leg</span> <span word="combine">combine</span> <span word="two">two</span> <span word="legs">legs</span>, <span word="means">means</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="gentlemen">gentlemen</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="collaboration">collaboration</span>, <span word="and">and</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="mutual">mutual</span> <span word="help">help</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="go">go</span> <span word="forward">forward</span>.（此段仍属描述段，应放篇首）<span word="I">I</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="cooperation">cooperation</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="trust">trust</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="todays">todays</span> <span word="society">society</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="indispensable">indispensable</span>.<span word="People">People</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="mutual">mutual</span> <span word="trust">trust</span>, （这里是两个短语的并列用<span word="and">and</span>）<span word="mutual">mutual</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="during">during</span> <span word="tough">tough</span> <span word="time">time</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="go">go</span> <span word="faster">faster</span>, <span word="go">go</span> <span word="farther">farther</span>.<span word="The">The</span> <span word="young">young</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="sharpen">sharpen</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="own">own</span>, <span word="even">even</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="encounter">encounter</span> <span word="difficulties">difficulties</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="setbacks">setbacks</span>, <span word="dont">dont</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="afraid">afraid</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="face">face</span>.<span word="To">To</span> <span word="face">face</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="courage">courage</span>, <span word="as">as</span> <span word="long">long</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="mutual">mutual</span> <span word="help">help</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="tide">tide</span> <span word="over">over</span> <span word="difficulties">difficulties</span> <span word="together">together</span> <span word="breakthrough">breakthrough</span>（删除该词）.（无总结段？）</p><p>&<span word="nbsp">nbsp</span>;你的这篇文章从语法和句式上来看，不存在太大的问题，证明你的英语基础不错。但就考研英语写作来说，你需要改进的地方还很多。首先是你文章的结构问题。写作指导（<span word="Directions">Directions</span>）已经明确指出，本篇作文必须满足以下三个要求1、简要描述；2、解释其深层次含义；3、给出你的观点。对应这三个要求再来看你的文章，第一点你基本满足，对图片进行了描述，但不够精炼，缺乏点睛的句子；第二点在你文章的第三段有所体现，以年轻人面临困难为例说明了合作互助的作用，但例子不够鲜明，最好举生活中的实例来证明，如全民齐心协力办奥运等等；第三点在你的文章中则没有看到。其次，你在文中使用了较长的句子，勇气可嘉，但切记一定要保证用词用句的准确性，否则有可能会适得其反，错误多了影响阅卷老师的给分还不如写简单句。希望你再接再厉，多多练习！</p>
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