全程班考研英语作文的批改范例一
<p> <span word="air">air</span> <span word="pollution">pollution</span>（标题大写） <span word="As">As</span> <span word="depicted">depicted</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="picture">picture</span>, <span word="large">large</span> <span word="cloulds">cloulds</span> （<span word="clouds">clouds</span>）<span word="of">of</span> <span word="smoke">smoke</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="chimneys">chimneys</span> <span word="cover">cover</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="sky">sky</span>. <span word="Obviously">Obviously</span>, <span word="chimneys">chimneys</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="cities">cities</span> <span word="caused">caused</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lot">lot</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="pollution">pollution</span>; <span word="the">the</span> <span word="air">air</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="nearly">nearly</span> <span word="suffocating">suffocating</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="seen">seen</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="symbolic">symbolic</span> <span word="meaning">meaning</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="picture">picture</span> <span word="conveys">conveys</span> <span word="deep">deep</span> （前面加<span word="be">be</span>动词，否则句子不通顺）<span word="and">and</span> <span word="profound">profound</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="thereby">thereby</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="conclude">conclude</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="coal">coal</span> <span word="burning">burning</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="brought">brought</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="great">great</span> <span word="hazards">hazards</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="city">city</span>. <span word="Firstly">Firstly</span>, <span word="factories">factories</span> <span word="were">were</span> <span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="placed">placed</span> （用<span word="lie">lie</span>的相关形式，<span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="lie">lie</span>）<span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="center">center</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="cities">cities</span>, <span word="among">among</span> （<span word="between">between</span>）<span word="residential">residential</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="business">business</span> <span word="area">area</span>. <span word="Even">Even</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="lived">lived</span> <span word="near">near</span> <span word="location">location</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="factories">factories</span>. （删掉）<span word="If">If</span> <span word="functions">functions</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="different">different</span> <span word="areas">areas</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="city">city</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="confused">confused</span>, <span word="smoke">smoke</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="contains">contains</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="deleterious">deleterious</span> <span word="gases">gases</span>, <span word="will">will</span> <span word="continue">continue</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="public">public</span> <span word="trouble">trouble</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="addition">addition</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="number">number</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="such">such</span> <span word="chimneys">chimneys</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lot">lot</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="harm">harm</span>. （不通顺）<span word="That">That</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="partly">partly</span> <span word="explained">explained</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="fact">fact</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="nearly">nearly</span> <span word="every">every</span> <span word="block">block</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="several">several</span> <span word="chimneys">chimneys</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="heating">heating</span> <span word="system">system</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="makes">makes</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="whole">whole</span> <span word="city">city</span> <span word="immersed">immersed</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="thick">thick</span> <span word="smoke">smoke</span>. <span word="Last">Last</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="important">important</span> <span word="one">one</span>, <span word="respiratory">respiratory</span> <span word="diseases">diseases</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="been">been</span> <span word="reported">reported</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="rising">rising</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="old">old</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="dying">dying</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="wirsening">wirsening</span>（删掉）<span word="air">air</span> <span word="pollution">pollution</span>. <span word="Confronted">Confronted</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="problem">problem</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="find">find</span> <span word="several">several</span> <span word="solution">solution</span>（复数）<span word="to">to</span> <span word="it">it</span>. <span word="On">On</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="hand">hand</span>, <span word="factories">factories</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="chimneys">chimneys</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="moved">moved</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="center">center</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="city">city</span> <span word="and">and</span>（用<span word="or">or</span>）<span word="it">it</span>（删掉）<span word="made">made</span> <span word="sure">sure</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="waste">waste</span> <span word="gases">gases</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="least">least</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="bad">bad</span>. <span word="For">For</span> <span word="another">another</span>, <span word="other">other</span> <span word="ways">ways</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="heating">heating</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="developed">developed</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="stop">stop</span> <span word="using">using</span> <span word="coal">coal</span>. <span word="Only">Only</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="doing">doing</span> <span word="so">so</span>, <span word="can">can</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="kill">kill</span> <span word="two">two</span> <span word="birds">birds</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="stone">stone</span>. 点评：12分 该文基本完成了试题任务，能够按照试题的原意进行分析陈述，包含了一些内容观点，使用了较为丰富的语法结构与词汇，前后衔接还算连贯。 但本文也存在一些不足之处，表现比较明显的是语法错误与时态错误，外加一些句子的被动形式，当然，这也是考试作文的难点与易错点，需要细心留意。另外，有些句子读起来比较晦涩，词汇变换方面也有一些错误，如果能在此方面多下功夫并留心细心，相信你能写出一篇不错的考研作文。 </p>
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