SAT作文修改实例讲解(二)
<p> 学生习作2：（基础一般，笔者把文章拆成了五部分，分别点评）</p><p> <span word="Some">Some</span> <span word="failed">failed</span> <span word="experiences">experiences</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="useful">useful</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="us">us</span>.</p><p> 一.<span word="Take">Take</span> <span word="myself">myself</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="example">example</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="played">played</span> <span word="tennis">tennis</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="age">age</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="eight">eight</span>. <span word="When">When</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="eleven">eleven</span> <span word="years">years</span> <span word="old">old</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="took">took</span> <span word="part">part</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="Sports">Sports</span> <span word="Meeting">Meeting</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="tennis">tennis</span> <span word="which">which</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="organized">organized</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="Jiangsu">Jiangsu</span> <span word="Province">Province</span>, <span word="a">a</span> <span word="province">province</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="southeast">southeast</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="China">China</span>. 1<span word="At">At</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="beginning">beginning</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="group">group</span> <span word="match">match</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="won">won</span> <span word="two">two</span> <span word="opponents">opponents</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="third">third</span> <span word="opponent">opponent</span>, <span word="Hu">Hu</span>, <span word="who">who</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="Jiangsu">Jiangsu</span> 2<span word="provinciances">provinciances</span> <span word="team">team</span>, <span word="defeated">defeated</span> <span word="me">me</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="score">score</span> <span word="was">was</span> 1:6 <span word="and">and</span> 2:6. <span word="At">At</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="end">end</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="match">match</span>, <span word="he">he</span> <span word="held">held</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="thumb">thumb</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="ground">ground</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="said">said</span>, <span word="Loser">Loser</span>! <span word="You">You</span> <span word="cannot">cannot</span> <span word="win">win</span> <span word="forever">forever</span>!</p><p> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="forget">forget</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="after">after</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="match">match</span>, <span word="though">though</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="would">would</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="another">another</span> <span word="doubles">doubles</span> <span word="match">match</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="next">next</span> <span word="day">day</span>.</p><p> 分析：</p><p> 1.<span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="first">first</span> <span word="group">group</span> <span word="stage">stage</span></p><p> 2.<span word="provincial">provincial</span> <span word="team">team</span> 省队</p><p> 二.1 <span word="His">His</span> <span word="words">words</span> <span word="reverberated">reverberated</span> <span word="unceasingly">unceasingly</span> <span word="nearby">nearby</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="ear">ear</span>, <span word="even">even</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="mine">mine</span> <span word="dream">dream</span>.</p><p> <span word="The">The</span> <span word="next">next</span> <span word="day">day</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="focus">focus</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="match">match</span>. <span word="At">At</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="beginning">beginning</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="match">match</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="score">score</span> <span word="was">was</span> 1:4.</p><p> 2 <span word="What">What</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="doing">doing</span>? <span word="My">My</span> <span word="partner">partner</span> <span word="shouted">shouted</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="while">while</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="hand">hand</span> <span word="knocked">knocked</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="head">head</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="arm">arm</span> <span word="winded">winded</span> <span word="around">around</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="shoulder">shoulder</span>. <span word="You">You</span> <span word="shouldnt">shouldnt</span> <span word="pay">pay</span> <span word="attention">attention</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="failure">failure</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="something">something</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="past">past</span>. <span word="And">And</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="must">must</span> <span word="focus">focus</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="match">match</span> <span word="now">now</span>! <span word="He">He</span> <span word="shouted">shouted</span>. <span word="At">At</span> <span word="last">last</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="won">won</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="match">match</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="got">got</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="prize">prize</span> <span word="of">of</span> 6<span word="th">th</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="year">year</span>.</p><p> 分析：</p>
页:
[1]