SAT作文修改实例(三)
<p> <span word="Both">Both</span> <span word="Sides">Sides</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="Issue">Issue</span></p><p> <span word="Think">Think</span> <span word="carefully">carefully</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="issue">issue</span> <span word="presented">presented</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="following">following</span> <span word="excerpt">excerpt</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="assignment">assignment</span> <span word="below">below</span>.</p><p> <span word="In">In</span> <span word="seeking">seeking</span> <span word="truth">truth</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="get">get</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="sides">sides</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="story">story</span>.</p><p> - <span word="Walter">Walter</span> <span word="Cronkite">Cronkite</span></p><p> <span word="Assignment">Assignment</span>: <span word="Do">Do</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="agree">agree</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="Walter">Walter</span> <span word="Cronkite">Cronkite</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="its">its</span> <span word="necessary">necessary</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="see">see</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="sides">sides</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="issue">issue</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="order">order</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="discover">discover</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="truth">truth</span>? <span word="Plan">Plan</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="write">write</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="essay">essay</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="which">which</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="develop">develop</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="point">point</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="view">view</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="issue">issue</span>. <span word="Support">Support</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="position">position</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="reasoning">reasoning</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="examples">examples</span> <span word="taken">taken</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="reading">reading</span>, <span word="studies">studies</span>, <span word="experiences">experiences</span>, <span word="or">or</span> <span word="observations">observations</span>).</p><p> 习作修改</p><p> 学生习作(第一段)</p><p> 语言修改</p><p> <span word="People">People</span> <span word="often">often</span> <span word="focus">focus</span> <span word="mostly">mostly</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="advantageous">advantageous</span> <span word="side">side</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="decision">decision</span>. <span word="Thus">Thus</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="often">often</span> <span word="neglect">neglect</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="side">side</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="decision">decision</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="may">may</span> <span word="lead">lead</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="unpleasant">unpleasant</span> <span word="end">end</span>. <span word="My">My</span> <span word="family">family</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="also">also</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="able">able</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="avoid">avoid</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="kind">kind</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="regrettable">regrettable</span> <span word="experience">experience</span>. <span word="From">From</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="failure">failure</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="see">see</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="sides">sides</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="issue">issue</span>.</p><p> <span word="Most">Most</span> <span word="often">often</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="decision">decision</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="focus">focus</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="advantages">advantages</span>. <span word="Thus">Thus</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="often">often</span> <span word="neglect">neglect</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="side">side</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="decision">decision</span>, <span word="which">which</span> <span word="may">may</span> <span word="lead">lead</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="unpleasant">unpleasant</span> <span word="end">end</span>. <span word="My">My</span> <span word="family">family</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="also">also</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="able">able</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="avoid">avoid</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="kind">kind</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="regrettable">regrettable</span> <span word="experience">experience</span>. <span word="From">From</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="failure">failure</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="see">see</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="sides">sides</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="issue">issue</span>.</p><p> 本段评点</p><p> 许多学生过多地使用了<span word="therefore">therefore</span>和<span word="thus">thus</span>. 这样的词是用来得出结论的。很多人只看有利的一面而忽视不利的一面这句话中用而或者并且连接两个分句，而不可以使用 <span word="therefore">therefore</span>, <span word="thus">thus</span>, <span word="as">as</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="result">result</span> 等表达。这样导致问题这两个方面的逻辑关系混乱，其实并不是因为人们只看有利面而导致忽视不利一面这个结果。</p>
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