meili 发表于 2022-10-18 19:29:29

SAT写作真题批改实例讲解

<p>  <span word="SAT">SAT</span>学生习作修改:<span word="Is">Is</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="necessary">necessary</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="question">question</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="authority">authority</span>?</p><p>  分析:本文是2006年10月考题,先根据题目做思维练习。</p><p>  本文作者写的是黑人争夺民权,就此考虑文章中要细化的内容。</p><p>  <span word="Authority">Authority</span>--- <span word="who">who</span>? 本文是<span word="the">the</span> <span word="white">white</span> <span word="people">people</span></p><p>  <span word="Question">Question</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="authority">authority</span>--- <span word="why">why</span>? (因为白人欺负黑人太甚了) <span word="How">How</span>? (开会,选领导,搞抗议)</p><p>  <span word="Result">Result</span> ---(废除了公共汽车法)</p><p>  学生文章分析</p><p>  开头段:</p><p>  1<span word="Every">Every</span> <span word="person">person</span> <span word="makes">makes</span> <span word="mistakes">mistakes</span>, <span word="as">as</span> <span word="well">well</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="authority">authority</span>. 2<span word="Thats">Thats</span> <span word="why">why</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="important">important</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="insist">insist</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="own">own</span> <span word="idea">idea</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="authority">authority</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="wrong">wrong</span>. 3<span word="Development">Development</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="peoples">peoples</span> <span word="society">society</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="associated">associated</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="challenging">challenging</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="authority">authority</span>.</p><p>  问题:句一太松散;句二词组误用,缺定冠词;句三和句二之间有些跳跃,意思上理解应该是挑战权威的结果;首段缺少明确的观点和对下文的提示。</p><p>  修改:1 <span word="I">I</span> <span word="cannot">cannot</span> <span word="agree">agree</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="saying">saying</span>, 2<span word="for">for</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="authority">authority</span>, <span word="like">like</span> <span word="common">common</span> <span word="people">people</span>, <span word="are">are</span> <span word="likely">likely</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="mistakes">mistakes</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="act">act</span> <span word="unreasonably">unreasonably</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="occasions">occasions</span>. 3<span word="At">At</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="moment">moment</span>, <span word="the">the</span> <span word="public">public</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="supposed">supposed</span> <span word="to">to</span>, <span word="at">at</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="risk">risk</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="offending">offending</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="authority">authority</span>, <span word="insist">insist</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="his">his</span> <span word="own">own</span> <span word="belief">belief</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="further">further</span> <span word="development">development</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="society">society</span>. 4<span word="Next">Next</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="take">take</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="example">example</span> <span word="of">of</span> __<span word="Rosa">Rosa</span> <span word="Park">Park</span>_____ <span word="to">to</span> <span word="illustrate">illustrate</span>/<span word="substantiate">substantiate</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="point">point</span>.</p>
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