如何让你的GRE作文“骨肉相连”
<p> <span word="gre">gre</span>作文原稿</p><p> <span word="The">The</span> <span word="nonmainstream">nonmainstream</span> <span word="areas">areas</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="harm">harm</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="society">society</span>, <span word="only">only</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="dont">dont</span> <span word="inquire">inquire</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="merely">merely</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="fun">fun</span>, <span word="but">but</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="resolution">resolution</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="life">life</span> <span word="instead">instead</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="ignorance">ignorance</span> <span word="because">because</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="world">world</span> <span word="could">could</span> <span word="point">point</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="way">way</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="others">others</span>, <span word="neither">neither</span> <span word="does">does</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="God">God</span>. <span word="Only">Only</span> <span word="those">those</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="confidence">confidence</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="possibility">possibility</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="successfully">successfully</span> <span word="solve">solve</span> <span word="problems">problems</span>.</p><p> 语言修改</p><p> <span word="Nonmainstream">Nonmainstream</span> <span word="areas">areas</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="harm">harm</span> <span word="society">society</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="look">look</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="genuine">genuine</span> <span word="solutions">solutions</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="real">real</span> <span word="problems">problems</span>, <span word="not">not</span> <span word="just">just</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="fun">fun</span>. <span word="This">This</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="done">done</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="ignorance">ignorance</span>, <span word="since">since</span> <span word="nobody">nobody</span>, <span word="not">not</span> <span word="even">even</span> <span word="God">God</span>, <span word="can">can</span> <span word="provide">provide</span> <span word="any">any</span> <span word="answers">answers</span>. <span word="Only">Only</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="confidence">confidence</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="successfully">successfully</span> <span word="solve">solve</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="problems">problems</span>.</p><p> <span word="gre">gre</span>作文内容点评及修改</p><p> 这是习作的第三段，作者进一步提出如果是为了好玩而相信迷信的东西是没有关系的。假设你是用迷信的东西来解决生活问题就会出问题。因为这个世界上没有人能够为其他的人指明道路，上帝也不行。他所说的最后这句话有点过于绝对，很多人是可以为他人指明道路，他们的职业就是这样的，比方说辅导员、老师。</p><p> 这段与前一段的问题一样，只阐明了观点，但是没有提出任何的例证来支持观点。只说论点，不讲证据是中国学生的普遍问题。另外，在英语国家里，上帝是主流的而不是非主流的。在内容上又有点偏题。文章的题目是主流与非主流，可以定义为科学与迷信，但是宗教并不是迷信。宗教在西方社会是居于主流地位的。这一段的措辞有点像是讨论科学与宗教的关系，这是不恰当的。不过，这篇习作有一个突出的优点就是每一段的开头句都有<span word="topic">topic</span> <span word="sentence">sentence</span>开宗明义。</p>
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