应对“末日”到来的幽默口语
<p> 假如你相信世上真的有上帝存在，那么他在你心中是什么样子?是位慈祥的老者，还是一位总会对你开玩笑返老还童的老人?那么依据平时发生在你身上的事，加上下面的语录，那么你真的应该知道，上帝真的很幽默。</p><p> 1. <span word="Dont">Dont</span> <span word="forget">forget</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="umbrella">umbrella</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="might">might</span> <span word="water">water</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="plants">plants</span> <span word="today">today</span> ! ---<span word="God">God</span>---</p><p> 上街记得带雨伞，今天我也许要灌溉树木。---神---</p><p> 2. <span word="If">If</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="miss">miss</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="sunrise">sunrise</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="made">made</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="today">today</span> , <span word="never">never</span> <span word="mind">mind</span>. <span word="Ill">Ill</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="another">another</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="tomorrow">tomorrow</span>.---<span word="God">God</span>---</p><p> 假如你错过了今天我为你准备的日出，不要紧，明天我再为你准备。---神---</p><p> 3. <span word="How">How</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="possibly">possibly</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="self">self</span>-<span word="made">made</span> <span word="man">man</span> ? <span word="I">I</span> <span word="specifically">specifically</span> <span word="recall">recall</span> <span word="creating">creating</span> <span word="you">you</span> . ---<span word="God">God</span>--</p><p> 你怎会是自我创造的人呢? 我记得特别清楚是怎么创造你的呀!---神---</p><p> 4. <span word="Of">Of</span> <span word="course">course</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="sense">sense</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="humor">humor</span> . <span word="I">I</span> <span word="gave">gave</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="platypus">platypus</span> , <span word="didnt">didnt</span> <span word="I">I</span>? ---<span word="God">God</span>---</p><p> 我当然有幽默感，我不是为你们创造了鸭嘴兽了吗? ---神---</p><p> 5. <span word="Its">Its</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="end">end</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="world">world</span> . <span word="Not">Not</span> <span word="until">until</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="say">say</span> <span word="so">so</span> ,<span word="anyway">anyway</span>. ---<span word="God">God</span>---</p><p> 世界末日还没到，除非是由我亲口说的才算。 ---神---</p><p> 6. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="hate">hate</span> <span word="rules">rules</span> , <span word="Thats">Thats</span> <span word="why">why</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="only">only</span> <span word="made">made</span> <span word="ten">ten</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="them">them</span> . ---<span word="God">God</span>---</p><p> 我讨厌戒条，所以我只定了十条而已! ---神---</p>
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