My Pleasant Day
<p><span word="E">E</span>度英语网专稿 未经允许不得转载</p><p><span word="This">This</span> <span word="day">day</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="pleasant">pleasant</span> <span word="day">day</span>.<span word="I">I</span> <span word="got">got</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="seven">seven</span> ,<span word="and">and</span> <span word="had">had</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="big">big</span> <span word="breakfast">breakfast</span>.<span word="Then">Then</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="did">did</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="homework">homework</span> <span word="first">first</span>. <span word="During">During</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="time">time</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="listened">listened</span> <span word="music">music</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="relax">relax</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="took">took</span> <span word="three">three</span> <span word="hours">hours</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="that">that</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="played">played</span> <span word="computer">computer</span>. <span word="After">After</span> <span word="playing">playing</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="while">while</span>, <span word="my">my</span> <span word="mum">mum</span> <span word="asked">asked</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="clean">clean</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="bedroom">bedroom</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="cook">cook</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="lunch">lunch</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="afternoon">afternoon</span>, <span word="my">my</span> <span word="mum">mum</span> <span word="checked">checked</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="homework">homework</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="pleased">pleased</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="it">it</span>. <span word="So">So</span> <span word="she">she</span> <span word="allowed">allowed</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="go">go</span> <span word="shopping">shopping</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="her">her</span>. <span word="We">We</span> <span word="bought">bought</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lot">lot</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="things">things</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="like">like</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="evening">evening</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="watched">watched</span> <span word="TV">TV</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="family">family</span>. <span word="Then">Then</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="went">went</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="bed">bed</span>. <span word="I">I</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="night">night</span>.</p><p>你的一天描述的很清楚，也很到位。语言需要再好好雕琢，比如开头最好不要用<span word="this">this</span> <span word="day">day</span> 可以用 <span word="today">today</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="pleasant">pleasant</span> <span word="day">day</span>.后文说到<span word="Then">Then</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="did">did</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="homework">homework</span> <span word="first">first</span>. <span word="During">During</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="time">time</span>, <span word="I">I</span> <span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="listened">listened</span> <span word="music">music</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="relax">relax</span>.写作业要集中精力，怎么能听音乐<span word="relax">relax</span>?语言没有问题，但是内容需要斟酌~<span word="It">It</span> <span word="took">took</span> <span word="three">three</span> <span word="hours">hours</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="that">that</span>.建议写成<span word="It">It</span> <span word="took">took</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="three">three</span> <span word="hours">hours</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="finish">finish</span> <span word="my">my</span> <span word="homework">homework</span> <span word="because">because</span> <span word="while">while</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="doing">doing</span> <span word="homework">homework</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="listening">listening</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="music">music</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="well">well</span>.这样文章就不会因为都是简单句显得单调了。<span word="We">We</span> <span word="bought">bought</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="lot">lot</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="things">things</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="like">like</span>.这句定语从句用的很好！</p><p>批改老师：郝月菲</p><p>郝月菲，（查看郝月菲老师介绍） 英文名<span word="Hazel">Hazel</span>（被学生戏称为黑狗老师）英语专业八级，功底深厚，发音纯正，美式口语地道。毕业于北师大二附中的郝老师非常了解京城中学学生英语学习需 求，信奉实用趣味励志的英语教育理念，坚持以兴趣为主导，不断挖掘学生对于英语的热情。郝老师拥有非凡的个人魅力，幽默风趣的授课风格总能让 原本枯燥无味的英语变得趣味横生。</p>
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