Saving electricity
<p><span word="E">E</span>度英语网专稿 未经允许不得转载</p><p> <span word="Electricity">Electricity</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="very">very</span> <span word="important">important</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="daily">daily</span> <span word="life">life</span>.<span word="Saving">Saving</span> <span word="electricity">electricity</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="good">good</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="environment">environment</span>.<span word="Electricity">Electricity</span> <span word="can">can</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="many">many</span> <span word="things">things</span>,<span word="so">so</span> <span word="we">we</span> <span word="must">must</span> <span word="saving">saving</span> <span word="save">save</span> <span word="it">it</span> .<span word="For">For</span> <span word="example">example</span>,<span word="turn">turn</span> <span word="lights">lights</span>,<span word="computers">computers</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="TVs">TVs</span> <span word="off">off</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="youre">youre</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="using">using</span> <span word="them">them</span>.<span word="Dont">Dont</span> <span word="leave">leave</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="fridge">fridge</span> <span word="door">door</span> <span word="open">open</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="long">long</span> <span word="time">time</span>.<span word="However">However</span>,<span word="electricity">electricity</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="like">like</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="serventsservant">serventsservant</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="mankind">mankind</span>.</p><p> <span word="Take">Take</span> <span word="attionattention">attionattention</span>,<span word="lets">lets</span> <span word="save">save</span> <span word="electricity">electricity</span> <span word="now">now</span>.</p><p>本文在如下几个方面需要改进：</p><p>结构方面：结构不清晰，建议分三段来写：1）电的重要性</p><p>2）如何节约用电</p><p>3）号召大家行动起来</p><p>语言方面：建议用一些比较好的语言结构,包括固定搭配及连贯词</p><p>1）电的重要性<span word="Electricity">Electricity</span> <span word="plays">plays</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="very">very</span> <span word="important">important</span> <span word="rolein">rolein</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="daily">daily</span> <span word="life">life</span>.</p><p>2）如何节约用电 <span word="Firstly">Firstly</span>, <span word="Secondly">Secondly</span>，<span word="lastly">lastly</span></p><p>3）号召 <span word="If">If</span> <span word="each">each</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="us">us</span> <span word="tries">tries</span> <span word="our">our</span> <span word="best">best</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="save">save</span> <span word="electricity">electricity</span>, <span word="we">we</span> <span word="will">will</span> <span word="make">make</span> <span word="big">big</span> <span word="difference">difference</span>.<span word="Lets">Lets</span> <span word="take">take</span> <span word="action">action</span> <span word="right">right</span> <span word="now">now</span>.</p><p>细节方面：1）篇幅长度不够</p><p>2）部分语法错误</p><p> 3）拼写错误</p><p>批改老师：朱平</p><p>朱平，（查看朱平老师介绍）学而思乐加乐优秀教师，现主攻初中同步，朱老师对北京市中考英语颇有研究，能准确把握北京市中考英语的重点和难点，而且了解初中生的学习特点，能准确把握学生容易出错的地方，并能有针对性地帮助学生击破弱点，攻克难点，稳步提高学习成绩。</p>
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