老外的雅思9分范文及点评
<p> 下面这篇在2004年考过两次，内容比较难写，很多考生都构思不出内容，因此，我请我的美国朋友按照雅思作文的套路写了篇范文，大家可以学习一下里面的语言和内容。</p><p> <span word="Unlike">Unlike</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="countries">countries</span>， <span word="the">the</span> <span word="police">police</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="United">United</span> <span word="Kingdom">Kingdom</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="normally">normally</span> <span word="carry">carry</span> <span word="guns">guns</span>. <span word="Some">Some</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="leaves">leaves</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="citizens">citizens</span> <span word="unprotected">unprotected</span>， <span word="while">while</span> <span word="others">others</span> <span word="believe">believe</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="practice">practice</span> <span word="reduces">reduces</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="overall">overall</span> <span word="violence">violence</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="society">society</span>. <span word="Discuss">Discuss</span> <span word="both">both</span> <span word="views">views</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="use">use</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="own">own</span> <span word="experience">experience</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="evidence">evidence</span>.</p><p> <span word="Unlike">Unlike</span> <span word="most">most</span> <span word="countries">countries</span>， <span word="the">the</span> <span word="police">police</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="United">United</span> <span word="Kingdom">Kingdom</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="normally">normally</span> <span word="carry">carry</span> <span word="guns">guns</span>. <span word="Some">Some</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="leaves">leaves</span> <span word="citizens">citizens</span> <span word="unprotected">unprotected</span>， <span word="while">while</span> <span word="others">others</span> <span word="believe">believe</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="practi">practi</span> <span word="c">c</span> <span word="e">e</span> <span word="reduces">reduces</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="overall">overall</span> <span word="violence">violence</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="society">society</span>. <span word="Police">Police</span> <span word="having">having</span> <span word="guns">guns</span> <span word="however">however</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="issue">issue</span> <span word="secondary">secondary</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="criminals">criminals</span> <span word="having">having</span> <span word="guns">guns</span>.</p><p> 结构分析：2+1模式，最后一句为主题句，明确地表达了自己的观点。但是，前两句的问题很严重，即照抄了题目。</p><p> <span word="Because">Because</span> <span word="criminals">criminals</span> <span word="usually">usually</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="access">access</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="guns">guns</span>， <span word="police">police</span> <span word="officers">officers</span> <span word="need">need</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="order">order</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="control">control</span> <span word="crime">crime</span>. <span word="If">If</span> <span word="police">police</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="U">U</span>.<span word="K">K</span>. <span word="are">are</span> <span word="able">able</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="go">go</span> <span word="without">without</span> <span word="guns">guns</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="crime">crime</span> <span word="getting">getting</span> <span word="completely">completely</span> <span word="out">out</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="control">control</span> <span word="then">then</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="have">have</span> <span word="already">already</span> <span word="set">set</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="fine">fine</span> <span word="example">example</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="other">other</span> <span word="countries">countries</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="follow">follow</span>. <span word="The">The</span> <span word="fact">fact</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="able">able</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="do">do</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="indication">indication</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="ability">ability</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="control">control</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="flow">flow</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="guns">guns</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="general">general</span> <span word="populace">populace</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="makes">makes</span> <span word="citizens">citizens</span> <span word="safer">safer</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="anything">anything</span> <span word="else">else</span>. <span word="To">To</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="civilian">civilian</span>， <span word="taking">taking</span> <span word="guns">guns</span> <span word="away">away</span> <span word="from">from</span> <span word="criminals">criminals</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="important">important</span> <span word="than">than</span> <span word="giving">giving</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="police">police</span>.</p>
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