一次成功的雅思写作复议
<p> 学生第一次来邮:</p><p> 我的写作成绩值得复议吗?</p><p> 老师,</p><p> 您好. 我在您批改的作文中大多得6+, 您对我的评语就是英语表达超6,组织得好就能拿7的那位同学.</p><p> 我在9月23日参加的考试,写作居然只有5分.那次的大作文写的是越来越多的人开私家车,说说优点和缺点.我是这样写的:</p><p> 优点:私家车能繁荣经济, 特别是汽车工业.</p><p> 方便, 能随时随地到任何地方,不用象公交车一样限定线路和时间.</p><p> 舒适, 不用挤公交车.</p><p> 缺点:令道路更堵塞,特别是上下班高峰期.</p><p> 汽油供应短缺,很多私家车需要排队加油</p><p> 造成更多的环境污染.</p><p> 结尾: 认为开私家车的缺点大于优点.</p><p> 考完出来自我感觉良好, 不知是否我这样写离题了才得个5分, 还请老师指点.</p><p> 我这样写可以拿6分吗? 我想申请成绩复议, 值得这样做吗?</p><p> 老师回复:</p><p> <span word="yes">yes</span>,<span word="i">i</span> <span word="think">think</span> <span word="ud">ud</span> <span word="better">better</span> <span word="go">go</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="application">application</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="reevaluating">reevaluating</span>. <span word="anyway">anyway</span>, <span word="ill">ill</span> <span word="still">still</span> <span word="need">need</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="tell">tell</span> <span word="u">u</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="mistakes">mistakes</span> <span word="u">u</span> <span word="made">made</span>.</p><p> <span word="now">now</span> <span word="let">let</span> <span word="me">me</span> <span word="try">try</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="simulate">simulate</span> <span word="how">how</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="examiner">examiner</span> <span word="was">was</span> <span word="looking">looking</span> <span word="at">at</span> <span word="your">your</span> <span word="task">task</span>2 <span word="n">n</span> <span word="then">then</span> <span word="drew">drew</span> <span word="such">such</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="stupid">stupid</span> <span word="conclusion">conclusion</span>.</p><p> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="first">first</span> <span word="idea">idea</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="based">based</span> <span word="on">on</span> <span word="comparison">comparison</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="contrast">contrast</span>----<span word="more">more</span> <span word="private">private</span> <span word="cars">cars</span> <span word="help">help</span> <span word="boom">boom</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="car">car</span> <span word="manufacturing">manufacturing</span> <span word="industry">industry</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="right">right</span> <span word="idea">idea</span>. <span word="but">but</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="second">second</span> <span word="one">one</span> <span word="hits">hits</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="point">point</span>---<span word="convenience">convenience</span>. <span word="how">how</span> <span word="about">about</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="drawbacks">drawbacks</span>? <span word="traffic">traffic</span> <span word="jams">jams</span> <span word="caused">caused</span>---<span word="hmmmm">hmmmm</span>..<span word="good">good</span> <span word="idea">idea</span>. <span word="more">more</span> <span word="pollution">pollution</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="created">created</span>---<span word="good">good</span> <span word="too">too</span>. <span word="but">but</span> <span word="queue">queue</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="fill">fill</span> <span word="up">up</span> <span word="tanks">tanks</span> <span word="with">with</span> <span word="gasoline">gasoline</span>----<span word="hmmmm">hmmmm</span>...<span word="u">u</span> <span word="might">might</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="express">express</span> <span word="it">it</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="coherent">coherent</span> <span word="way">way</span>.</p>
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