雅思学生习作修改:鼓励人们多穿传统服装
<p> 注:一篇学生的习作,里面出现的问题,尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。</p><p> 希望大家看完原文的开头之后,应该思考我们课堂上所讲的雅思作文开头的背景交代的改写方法。</p><p> <span word="Topic">Topic</span>: <span word="In">In</span> <span word="many">many</span> <span word="countries">countries</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="no">no</span> <span word="longer">longer</span> <span word="wear">wear</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="national">national</span> <span word="costumes">costumes</span>. <span word="They">They</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="forgetting">forgetting</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="history">history</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="traditions">traditions</span>, <span word="more">more</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="encouraged">encouraged</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="wear">wear</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="national">national</span> <span word="costumes">costumes</span> <span word="everyday">everyday</span>. <span word="Do">Do</span> <span word="you">you</span> <span word="agree">agree</span> <span word="or">or</span> <span word="disagree">disagree</span>.</p><p> 原文:</p><p> <span word="In">In</span> <span word="this">this</span> <span word="day">day</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="age">age</span>, <span word="as">as</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="pace">pace</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="social">social</span> <span word="development">development</span>, <span word="a">a</span> <span word="various">various</span> <span word="kinds">kinds</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="winning">winning</span> <span word="tremendous">tremendous</span> <span word="popularity">popularity</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="countries">countries</span>. <span word="But">But</span> <span word="in">in</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="meantime">meantime</span>, <span word="it">it</span> <span word="has">has</span> <span word="drawn">drawn</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="great">great</span> <span word="deal">deal</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="attention">attention</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="problem">problem</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="whether">whether</span> <span word="more">more</span> <span word="people">people</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="encouraged">encouraged</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="wear">wear</span> <span word="national">national</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span> <span word="everyday">everyday</span>. <span word="As">As</span> <span word="far">far</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="I">I</span> <span word="am">am</span> <span word="concerned">concerned</span>, <span word="people">people</span> <span word="should">should</span> <span word="not">not</span> <span word="wear">wear</span> <span word="them">them</span> <span word="per">per</span> <span word="day">day</span>.</p><p> <span word="In">In</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="first">first</span> <span word="place">place</span>, <span word="it">it</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="generally">generally</span> <span word="acknowledge">acknowledge</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="traditional">traditional</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="countries">countries</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="unconvenient">unconvenient</span> <span word="for">for</span> <span word="national">national</span> <span word="residents">residents</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="work">work</span>. <span word="It">It</span> <span word="is">is</span> <span word="a">a</span> <span word="fact">fact</span> <span word="that">that</span> <span word="some">some</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="costumes">costumes</span>, <span word="such">such</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="kimono">kimono</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="Japan">Japan</span>,<span word="cheongsam">cheongsam</span> <span word="of">of</span> <span word="china">china</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="Korea">Korea</span>-<span word="style">style</span> <span word="cothes">cothes</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="too">too</span> <span word="long">long</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="big">big</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="work">work</span>. <span word="In">In</span> <span word="particular">particular</span> <span word="policemen">policemen</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="doctors">doctors</span>,<span word="these">these</span> <span word="careers">careers</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="hard">hard</span> <span word="to">to</span> <span word="be">be</span> <span word="done">done</span> <span word="if">if</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="wearing">wearing</span> <span word="such">such</span> <span word="clothes">clothes</span>.</p><p> <span word="In">In</span> <span word="the">the</span> <span word="second">second</span> <span word="place">place</span>, <span word="not">not</span> <span word="wearing">wearing</span> <span word="national">national</span> <span word="costumes">costumes</span> <span word="doesnot">doesnot</span> <span word="mean">mean</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="citizens">citizens</span> <span word="forgetting">forgetting</span> <span word="their">their</span> <span word="history">history</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="traditions">traditions</span>. <span word="Some">Some</span> <span word="countries">countries</span> <span word="history">history</span> <span word="and">and</span> <span word="traditions">traditions</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="still">still</span> <span word="studied">studied</span> <span word="by">by</span> <span word="young">young</span> <span word="children">children</span>. <span word="Take">Take</span> <span word="Japanese">Japanese</span> <span word="as">as</span> <span word="an">an</span> <span word="example">example</span>, <span word="they">they</span> <span word="always">always</span> <span word="knee">knee</span> <span word="down">down</span> <span word="when">when</span> <span word="they">they</span> <span word="are">are</span> <span word="eating">eating</span> <span word="meals">meals</span>.</p>
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